My 96 yr old mother is almost blind & very hard of hearing. Over the last few weeks she has developed some dementia. As a result she is very needy, not just during the day but also at night. She has no concept of time and constantly talks & wants food/drink. This stops me from sleeping. I am her sole carer and so can’t function 24hrs a day without lengthy sleep. I have been asked if I’d like carers but I understand they just feed & wash a person. This would not help (even though I appreciate the offer of the service) What I need is someone to be with my mother overnight; help her on/off commode, make her a cup of tea, settle her back to bed/sleep. So, my question is, do local councils provide this kind of carer? Can you lovely people offer me some advice please as to services available. Many Thanks
Hi TPL … from an ex Souff Tott’nam lad , and a former 24/7 ( Less time off for some kip ! ) lone carer.
( No problems on the podiatrist front … toe nail cutters … Broadway Joes … for us lesser proles ? )
Not an uncommon request !
However … virtually unsolvable IF you do not have the resources to pay for such care !
__( Even with the recent legal ruling on " Sleepovers " , outside carers don’t come cheap … especially in The Smoke ! )
First consideration … Needs assessment through your LA.
Getting a social care needs assessment - NHS
A time for a care plan … in theory , based on need but , in practice , a little different.
Will the LA sanction such support ?
Be wary … waiting time for such an assessment … a real post code lottery.
Carers assessment … time for the LA to have a look at your situation :
Carer's assessment | Carers UK
Again , be wary … waiting time.
CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare … could well be a factor here :
Main thread :
Not an easy read despite my best attempts ?
Any problems on the benefits / housing fronts ( Social tenant perhaps ) ?
Enough from me … plenty to ponder on above.
Others will be along to add their views and guidance.
Unfortunately any local council will not fund all night care. If you do not have the money to pay for private care, it is almost impossible. Have you thought about speaking to your mother’s GP to see what they might offer - I am thinking of a harmless sleeping tablet which might provide you with some respite?
It is worth contacting your local Social Services for a care assessment to see what they might provide - respite care for example. I know how hard this can be - my mum used to wake me up a few times a night in case I was late for school. I was 56 at the time!
Mum is now very frail and elderly, and possibly very near to the end of her life.
She clearly needs more care than one person can provide.
This is the time to ask Social Services for a Needs Assessment for her, and a Carers Assessment for you.
Something needs to change. Either extra care in the home, or residential nursing care.
I am afraid you will have a fight on your hands, The council just don’t provide night care too expensive, the council would have to pay carers night pay.
I provided night care for quite some time to my caree as there was just no help/support at night.
Unfortunatly the council now want elderly/disabled to move into what is called sheltered/extra care housing. You get your own flat and services on site 24 hour carers, often a restaurant and common room and activities.
One in my area is brand new and lovely but you would have to leave your community and move house.
There is as well CHC but again not easy to obtain.
Are you the full time carer ? I only ask as I kind of have had to adjust to my mums sleep pattern…like you would with a small child.
For example last night she kindly called out to me every two hours to “ check I was ok !!!” which was really sweet but beginning to grate by 4am…!!!
So once we had got her washed and dressed and fed breakfast she settled down to a morning snooze and so did I…it’s the only way I can function if I try and catch up a bit when she does…sod the housecleaning…than was postponed till tomorrow and fingers crossed tonight she sleeps right through…and I catch up with the housework then.
We try and keep her awake as much as possible in the afternoons so she is more tired at night…
Fingers crossed you find a routine that suits…And a hug for doing an amazing job x x