Hi I’m a carer for my dad but also a carer for my mum as well. I am at a lost of did I do the right think or not.
over the last few weeks thinks between my self and my mum got heated this was due to her mental health problems, she seemed to know which buttons to press to get at me. He care manager had told her on Friday to grow up and act her age but this last spate of trouble was seeing how far she could push me before I snap this time. I did snap and the one occasion i shook her to stop having a go at me. I tried the normal things like count to 10 and that but it did not help. The police did come twice, and this was on the advice of the local crisis team that if things got out of hand to call them as they would not come out to have a look at the situation. To try and give me and my mum some space, I went to a friends house for a few hours hoping things would go back to normal. Well yesterday the same thing happen, I had my mum, shout at me etc. so I decide to go to my local police station and speak to someone as I was at a lost at what to do as the crisis team was not intrested in help and are as much use as a chocolate teapot. They did send some officers out to the house but instead of offering support or advice or have a look at the sistuation. This one officer made us all feel small and that we were in the wrong for contacting them for help. he made quite clear that they would only come out if someone had been hurt than for argument over the health and well being of not just my self but the rest of the family. I don’t know if the police officer thought it was tit for tat because I went for help over my mum.
These last few days things have got on top of me. It’s ok for them to say go out for a walk to get out of the place to help calm things down but they don’t know what it’s like to be made feel that you are worthless by action from a family member because of her mental health and no short term memories . I have been there when she has tried to take her own live,saved her when she had TIA’s but despite all that I am made to be the bad one for trying to do the right thing. She is quick to forget what has just happen but is quick enough to throw it back at you if you done something wrong to her. She had a rough life in her early years and has been doing the same to me in return. If I could get out of the house and have my own place I would but due to the state of thing, I can’t afford to move out,even trying for a job once they see that you are a carer they don’t want to know if you could do the job.
With things that have gone on I feel like I don’t want to be here anymore as it seem anything I try and do to help, I come off the worst of it. Even my dad was not happy with the way things have gone either.
I have put in a complaint about the officer as it seems that they only wanted a quite shift and not to waste their time over something like this. I had respect for the police at one time but after the way it has been handle and made out that we are wasting police time, I have lost that respect for them. This is thanks to a stupid guidelines that the local health board who I have complained to about support that there is suposed to be does not want to know unless some one is killed, a drug taker or a drunk. ‘That is what they call care in the community’- What a f***ing joke.