Hi All, I am stuck in a awkward catch 22 situation and I need some help and advice please. This has been a ongoing matter over my mum mental health since December 2020 when she came out of respite care. We got to the stage now where a advocate is involved to take this matter on due to a lack of communication from her care manager and local mental health team. It has not just been the family trying to get in touch with them but also the local AM, GPs and carers centre and we kept hitting a brick wall. From when the advocate rang to make a telephone appointment to speak to my mum, she was working her self up in a state over it. The phone call happen, he will take the case on but will only deal with my mum unless she ask him to repeat or explain something to us to make sure mum is happy with it. He was going to get back in touch as soon as he could this week. With the mental health issues my mum suffers from there is two parts one is the main illness and the other behaviour . The behaviour part is coming out more and there is a lot of abuse and aggression coming from her which I know she can’t help but sometime I think she can. Well between yesterday and today, I was made by my mum to go and speak to the community health team about her, try and find out what was happening but the state she is in need the main mental health doctor say or give the ok for her to stay on certain tablets which were stopped when she was in last year and has been a on going trouble.
I spoke to one of the girls from OT as she knew me but I did not want to speak to her care manger and the duty officers was in a meeting. Well I spent well over an 1 Hour going over what was happening and explain why I was there, the OT girl was going to feed back to the mental health team to sort something out. Which I know the way things are with ours it like how long is a length of string type of question when or if they will get back to us.
Now back today drama, mum has been on about a fag all day, but neither me or my dad will give in to get her one because, she has stop smoking for over 7 years,it has meant no mini-strokes, cost of the money but she has something else instead but also to show that if we gave in, she could or would use it as some sort of power tool when she wanted something else or causing a argument to use it against us.
She made me ring the mental health team center which I did not want to do as I thought even after yesterday visit I was treading on the advocate toes. Dad had phone earlier, we were waiting for a answer from the mental health. Whilst I was on the phone to the girl on the desk, asking me what mum was like and I was explaining what was going on, I had mum hurling abuse and aggression both to me and the girl at the other end of the phone. i DID TRY TO STOP IT but failed. After I came off the phone, I had mum rant and rave at me for phoning, when I had not done it for my self but for her. She was in one of these moods I am right and everyone else is wrong,
I was in tears and fed up with what was coming out of her, even bring up things I had done as a kid but she forgets that some things she was bring up, she had started them. I did slap gentle her cheek to try and bring her to snap out of it which I DO know is wrong but I had enough of being blamed for what was going on when it was not my fault, I have been having suicidal thought because of this episode.
I am stuck now who to speak to for help or advice because it gotten into a right mess. I am not afraid to tell the police if she or someone else reported me for it because I felt like it might stop her than trying to shout at her which was not working. I can’t say I am sorry as she will not listen but I am still being made to feel like I was in the wrong when I know I am not but also I can’t take her threats of her telling me that dad will not cook me meals anymore. If things were normal I could have stayed else where or got hold of someone but as it not , I am stuck.
can anyone help or give advice on where to turn next.