170225 Hi Everyone. I am Andy living in Paignton and the official carer for my good lady wife of over 30 years, and now we have our granddaughter (22) staying with us who has a load of medical issues. I have ME/CFS, FM, IBS, Coeliacs, diverticulitis, osteoarthritis, etc. Plus we have two dogs: Taz, a miniature poodle, and Ebony, a standard poodle. My wife has asthma and C.O.P.D.; hence the choice of pet. We moved from the Midlands to Devon in 2016 aiming to improve our health. Hmmm. I am still working out what the heck I need to do!
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@AndyL_Paignton…hi, welcome to the forum. It sounds like you have a lot to cope with. The forum is a great place to chat to other people. I’ve found the support network a godsend and hope you will too.
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Hi Andy and welcome to you as well.
Sue has already said you’ll find this site a wealth of information, suggestions and support. There are members who have a lot of direct experience of the benefits system which is really helpful. Others can share experiences of caring and one thing we can all do is EMPATHISE as we understand without the need to explain everything.
One person on here uses the expression CARESPLAINING - which is like mansplaining but worse! A non-carer is always an expert in all the difficulties we face as carers!! Sums it up perfectly.
I have a dog - Buster who is the love of my life - oops other than my husband - I ought to say that before someone pretends to be shocked.
This is one of his favourite positions - other than staring at his food bowl!
Graham suffered a stroke 3 years ago and that resulted in us closing our small business and I am his f/t unpaid carer. Lots of friends dropped by the wayside as we cant easily socialise and also family which has been very hurtful. However, we have each other - been together for over 27 years and civil partnership 16 years ago. He has had a rollercoaster health wise and has multiple problems including prostate cancer, major continence issues, cardiac and respiratory problems. I keep accusing him of being an attention seeker!
If you have a look around, you’ll find threads where we post pics and also Roll Call which is an area to chat ‘over the garden fence’ and you’ll find some of us regulars there most days - winding each other up with jokes and exchanging gossip and news. If you want to dip your toe in with a posting, you’ll be made very welcome. You can share as much or as little as YOU are comfortable with.
Chris
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welcome to the forum.
It sounds like you have a lot to manage with your caring responsibilities and your own health needs.
I hope you find the forum welcoming and helpful.
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Hi Andy,
I tend to ask the uncomfortable questions, because too often I’ve been caught in difficult situations because others couldn’t or wouldn’t do things to help relatives in need. I’m concerned about your ability to look after yourself and two others.
Why is your grand daughter living with you? Is this short term or long term?
Is she working or on benefits?
Contributing to your household expenses?
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Hi Andy,
Welcome to the forum! I’m a dog lover too, and have a Patterdale Terrier x Labrador called, Monty, and a Romanian Rescue dog called, Millie. She is black and white, and sort of resembles a corgi or giant dachshund in shape. I love my doggies and they bring so much joy to my love… well, mostly! Haha.
I’m a full time carer for my Dad who has Cerebellar Ataxia, and more recently have been forced to take on caring for my Uncle who has Alzheimer’s and is now suffering with the dementia part of that disease.
I have my own undiagnosed health issues: possibly ME/CFS and/or FM. The GP really doesn’t seem to want to give me a diagnosis! However, I do struggle with my energy levels, and am often in pain somewhere in my body.
It’s amazing how many of us carers can often have our own care needs which we neglect in order to care for others. So, yes, a little reminder here to remember to look after yourself too (I’m taking note of my own advice here! 
).
I really hope you find lots of common ground with others on here, and can feel a part of the community. I’m reasonably new too, and am still finding my feet.
Take care x
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@Blomst….I’m a dog lover too, I’ve had a couple of retrievers myself over the years and my daughter has one now. Buddy is just coming up to 2 and is full of mischief but adorable 
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