I can't cope with mums energy

Hi again,

So its me again.

One thing I have always struggled with is mums constant high energy. Were suspecting that mum may be on the spectrum somewhere, but my god she is annoying. She always wants to be entertained, but then she can’t hold attention very long. Everything has to be exciting to her. She can’t seem to entertain herself.

The trouble is no one wants to be around her because she’s always talking about how hard done by she is. Even if she meets someone new, or sees someone she hasn’t seen in a while, all she does is talk about how she was abused, and wears it like a badge of honour.

I’ve mentioned before that I joined Karate a few months ago. I initially started doing two days a week, for an hour. However, I have grown to love the sport. I’m happy I have found something for me. My fitness has improved, and I’m loosing weight for the first time in forever. (This is something I have struggled with for a while)

The Dojo is in the town where I work, and not near home. Its also won awards for it standards so its a great club. I had friends that already went, and I have made friends whilst there. For someone who is naturally very introverted, I never seem to wear my social batteries out like I do everywhere else. So I don’t want to have to change.

I had to do a couple of weekend jobs the past month, so I decided that I might as well train on the Saturday too. It has since become part of a regular schedule, but I’m happy to adapt if needed especially as me and my sister occasionally like to go into town once a month- she struggles with crowds because of her condition so we go early as possible.

Last week, I was awarded a new belt taking me out the absolute beginner stage of Karate. This is my third belt just a few months. Going up in the ranks now means my training schedule has doubled. Instead of one hour sessions, its now jumped to two hours three days a week. 6 hours in total. I am happy with this.

Mum was happy when I was doing an hour because she would always whinge at me about her taking her shopping after classes or picking her up from her mates. She had all day to go shopping, and even has a bus pass and lives 20 yards away from the bus stop. The supermarket is 5 minutes by bus.

I hated going to the supermarket afterwards. I like to just get in my car and go home. I keep my gi on since I’m always of the belief I’m not going anywhere, so I can just change once home. But there have been times where she has called me whinging to go to the supermarket at like 8pm. I have told her no, because I don’t like being out in public with my gi on. I also felt self-conscious, and I feel like going to that supermarket in a gear is just asking for abuse. I have even been laughed at by a housemate for wearing it so its hard. She never wants to listen as to why its so hard for me.

Now she knows I’m doing classes on a Saturday she is whinging that I never do anything with her, and I always put that first. Its for 6 hours a week.

We literally went for a meal last Friday, and she spent the whole time talking to the two people on the next table (whom she hadn’t met before) about how she was abused. Now she wants me to go to the pub with her so she can show off about getting a new belt.

I have told her no, and when I have picked her up from the pub I’ve had drunken men literally grabbing me everywhere they can. When I’ve told mum she has just told me they are her friends and they are just being friendly.

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You sound happiest ever, lovely to read about your excellent karate progress. Well done. Tell mum that you will NOT be taking her out again unless she promises to behave. If she plays up, leave her, go home and tell her to get a taxi! She is being the Elderly Toddler again, jealous that you don’t run around her any more, to be expected really. If she can’t shop at a reasonable hour when she has all day to do it in, she will have to do what the rest of us do. Go without, make a list and buy what she needs the next day!

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@Coolcar98 well done on the Karate. It’s great you have found a form of exercise that works for you. Fitness, well-being and social benefits too.

I agree with @bowlingbun ’s advice.