My Partner has Dementia, he has a Hospital Appointment coming up soon to find out exactly which type of Dementia he has, but I find it very stressful taking him for Appointments, because whenever I have to take him out in public, he constantly comes out with Racist, Homophobic, or just plain nasty comments about the people he sees around him, which I realise is not really his fault, I know that it’s just because of the Dementia, but I find it really embarrassing, especially since he says these things loud enough for other people to hear, causing them to give him dirty looks, I’m worried that one day someone is going to take offence and either call the Police to get him charged with Racism, or just turn round and punch him, but I can’t afford to take him there and back by Taxi to avoid these incidents, does anyone else have this problem? And if so, how do you deal with this?
Welcome to the forum.
When anyone mentions dementia I always like to check that they are claiming all the benefits which they are entitled to. For anyone over pension age, that’s Attendance Allowance. One AA is claimed, then you can apply for Council Tax exemption.
Have you had a Carers Assessment when you can explain about your worries, especially going to hospital?
Has your husband had a Needs Assessment?
Do you have Power of Attorney?
Last, but by no means least, what would you like to happen in future if you are ill, or your husband is too ill for you to manage at home?
@hybrid1000 You have my sympathy. But YOU are not responsible for HIS comments. My husband can be a nightmare too although he has not been diagnosed yet with Dementia. I would keep a detailed diary of these incidents. I honestly do not think that the police would take any further if he has a Dementia diagnosis but this does not help you and I do understand your distress.
Hi,
I do have Power of Attorney.
I can’t claim Attendance Allowance for him yet, because he doesn’t reach State Pension Age until 31st July this year, but I am in the process of trying to claim PIP for him, as I was advised to do.
I am still waiting for my Carer’s Assessment, though they have Phoned me a couple of times to let me know that they haven’t forgotten that a Carer’s Assessment is needed.
He has had a Needs Assessment in April last year, and was granted a Personal Assistant, but the Social Worker decided that he only needs a PA for 3 hours a week, however, his needs have changed considerably since he had that Needs Assessment, as he has rapidly declined over the last few months, so I have requested another Needs Assessment, but have not heard back from them yet.
As for what I would like to happen in the future, this has not even been discussed with anyone yet, I was intending to discuss that when I have my Carer’s Assessment, since I don’t really know who else to discuss it with.
Please get the PIP application in as soon as possible!
Before he is officially retirement age he can have an element for help getting around, and then he will be entitled to it for the rest of his life. After pension age he can only have Attendance Allowance. I can’t find my book right now, but it’s about £60-80 a week difference if I remember correctly. Don’t wait for a diagnosis, it’s the help he needs that matters. Once he receives PIP he will then be disregarded from Council Tax, another significant saving.
Speak with the clinic you’ll be attending, explain the issue and ask them if there is a patient transport service in your area. They may be able to arrange to pick him up and bring him home, you will be able to accompany him. If they aren’t sure, contact your partner’s GP.
Thanks for that advice, I have now filled in his PIP “How your Disability affects you” Form, and sent copies of Doctor’s Letters from all of his Hospital Appointments over the past year as evidence, so hopefully they will make their decision before the end of July, I know that it can take a long time to get a decision on these things, (when I got my PIP it took them 6 months from when I sent the Form back, but I wasn’t able to send them any evidence with mine), so hopefully, since I had a lot of evidence for my Partner, it won’t take them as long to decide.
I have spoken to the Clinic, but they have said that Patient Transport in my area has to be sorted out through the GP, and unfortunately, despite all the evidence that has been provided through the Hospital Doctors, his GP refuses to accept that he needs to use Patient Transport Services, the Social Worker has said that he could use Community Transport, but when I contacted Community Transport, they said that although they would be happy to take both of us there and back again, they can’t guarantee that they would be able to get him there on time for his Appointment, as they would have other people to pick up along the way.