How do I access respite for my mum?

Hello,I am new here and hope I am in the right place.My mother currently lives with myself and my very
tolerant husband.I am her sole carer,she is 94 fortunately of sound mind but with poor mobility.My question is how do I go about getting a respite place for her so my husband and I can have a much needed break,particularly what is it likely to cost as funds are very tight.I would like her to try a short break in a nice home to see what it’s like,to either think about going into care at some point or to appreciate what she has now.There are no other family members who are willing to help as my mother is not easy and has managed to push everyone else away.I need to get the ball rolling before things become too much.

Hi Mary … seasons greetings … welcome to the canteen.

First stop … a Needs Assessment for your mother , and a Carers Assessment for you … both through your local LA.

Just let me know which LA and I will do some digging … and then post an appropriate link.

Links to what to expect follow … our very own CUK :

Needs assessment | Carers UK

Carer's assessment | Carers UK

In essence , that’s what the " Book " says … a virtual post code lottery in practice as many postings will reveal.

Out of interest , your mother … AGE UK already involved ?

If not , worthwhile making contact ?

Days of old , even a sitting service provided by some branches … or other organisations on those manors.

Hi Chris,thanks for that.We are in Monmouth in Wales.My Mum is registered with Age Cymru.I do have a contact for having an assessment but no one explained the relevance of it so haven’t done it yet.I think that will be my next step in the new year.

Is mum claiming Attendance Allowance? Contributing enough to the housekeeping etc.?

Your welcome.

Monmouth ?

Desirable part of the country … if one has transport ?

Some links :

Social services : Social services contact details - Monmouthshire

Adult care services :

Social services in an emergency : Social services in an emergency - Monmouthshire

Good luck … or should that be … pop lwc ???

Hi bowlingbun yes my mum gets higher rate attendance allowance.She contributes well to the household finances,this is why we all share a house,it makes financial sense but we have to make sure it is not at the expense of my mental health or our marital relationship.At the moment we are coping but I know it won’t last too much longer without getting some help in place.

Thank you Chris.

Croeso … as some of the natives would say ?

I am not a native but my daughter in law is.Thats why we chose Monmouth to be near my grandson who I also help look after.Much more fun than my mum,he keeps me sane.

I hope you manage to find somewhere that mum likes, so that regular planned respite can now become a regular feature of your lives.
It’s not just the parents getting older, but us carers too, so they need more care every year, and we have less energy every year.

As I’ve had a series of operations, nowhere near the energy I used to have, I’m trying to get rid of everything I don’t use enough to make it worth keeping, I always use a dishwasher and tumble dryer or washer dryer, use a Kenwood Chef and Magimix, and pressure cooker. These labour saving devices I regard as my “mechanical slaves”. Every minute of energy I save is valued.

I certainly agree with that.I used to have loads of energy and ran a business along with helping others but I now have arthritis,had a knee replacement two years ago and will need the other one done sometime.My energy levels have dropped dramatically and consequently I am putting on weight which makes it worse.I had started an exercise plan at the local leisure centre but had to stop as my mum has been unwell on and of for a while but I am hoping to start again in the new year.It helps me physically and mentally.