Hi, just wondering if anyone has advice about respite care. I look after my 90 year old mother. She lives alone in her bungalow with a private Carer in the morning for washing / dressing etc and me popping in and out the rest of the day. I live very nearby fortunately. She doesn’t have dementia but is physically and emotionally very frail. She needs a lot of emotional support. She can’t leave the house alone and walks around her house with a frame. She can’t do cleaning/cooking/laundry etc as she is too frail and immobile. She wares a personal alarm and I often get a call, sometimes at night. I have a much needed holiday booked for the first week of May and am very worried about leaving her. I could organise more carers but perhaps the best thing would be a week in a care home. I don’t think she would like it at all but she would be safe. How would I go about organising this? Any other suggestions? I don’t have any other family that could help whilst I’m away, not to the extent that she needs daily support. The other problem is that she is very attached to me and wants me all the time. In a child like way. Role reversal!
Hi Karen.
Our very own CUK with chapter and verse on respite care :
That’s what the " Book " says … in the real world , a post code lottery at it’s finest !
Does she have significant savings?
Hi Karen
I don’t wish to burst your bubble but respite places are often very difficult to find - especially if you are looking for specific dates !
Most homes don’t have rooms especially reserved for respite.
When I cared for my Mum I quickly found out that it was better to book the respite first and then book any holiday around the dates that the care home were able to take her - sometimes at very short notice as it was usually a case of room becoming available because someone has died and there was a ‘vacancy’ before the next person took up permanent residency.
I think it depends largely where you live.
My mum was in a nursing home run by Colten Care, who cover the Hampshire/Dorset area. They kept one of the smaller bedrooms for respite/taster weeks. Some people booked in for respite are reluctant to go home, and immediately ask to go on the waiting list for a permanent place! However, rooms generally cost around £1,000 a week - hence my original question about mum’s financial situation. If mum doesn’t need nursing care it would be a bit less.
An alternative could be a live in carer for a week, but that depends if there is a spare room suitable in mum’s home. The cost would be roughly the same.