Hiya lovely people

You all do amazing jobs and have put others before yourself, god bless you all.
My 17yr old has been struggling with severe depression and asevere anxiety/ social anxiety since june 2019, by october she had gotten worse and was taking the odd day off hairdressing college.
By christmas she was in a very dark place that she had given up on college, friends,smiling, make up, her hair and clothes.
So my husband is almost 64 and works 5 days a week at 12 hour shifts and hes shattered, im 55 and at home all the time to care for our daughter. I am scottish but live in england and have no friends or family to help support my teen. 1 son in bristol, 1 daughter in newcastle 1 son in scotland. Oh and i cany forget fifi the cat. X smile once in a while.

Hi Susan,
welcome to the forum.

I’m sorry to hear your daughter is struggling with her mental health. I don’t have experience of supporting someone with mental health problems, but others on here do. However, the best way to look after your daughter is too look after yourself and show her what good mental health looks like - so take yourself walks, eat well, get enough sleep and engage in activities you enjoy. After Lockdown, you need to start building social connections for yourself - not easy I know, but essential for your own wellbeing.

Is your daughter receiving any support for her difficulties?

You might find this website useful, if you haven’t discovered it already https://youngminds.org.uk


Hi , Susan my daugther suffers from mentel health were full time carers I my self suffer from anxiety and social anxiety I’m here if you need any advice xx

Hello Susan and welcome from a fellow newcomer

Many years ago I dropped out of school due to various fears and obsessions. This mental collapse led to years of failure and wasted time, including 4 years of not leaving the house. Eventually, I was lucky enough to be accepted into a group therapy unit.

This course lasted for 5 months and involved about 20 patients (I think, 30 years ago now). The large group was divided into 2 smaller groups where patients could explore more personal problems.

Bizarrely, this was made available while Margaret Thatcher was just about still in power. I don’t think waiting lists were anything like today. As you will know, 5 weeks to see your GP. I have uncontrolled epilepsy and getting an appointment to see a neurologist is next to impossible - before the current crisis. If you could possibly see your GP and have your daughter taken onto a very similar psychotherapy course then I think you might see great rewards - I did. Of course, in this current situation, I’m not sure how you could make this happen.

My best wishes to you all, David

hi Susan

I have direct experience in this area…family members have social anxiety.

I wonder if hairdressing was just too pressured for someone who has anxiety and social anxiety.

I think she probably needs opportunities that are much less public and something more low arousal than this career choice, where she can build her confidence up in small steps

Your daughter is also at the age to contact services to ask for a transition assessment.

Melly offers good advice. Modelling good self care skills will help your daughter

Exercise is shown to help anxiety and daily exercise is very important.

Enough sleep has been shown in studies to be so important for good mental health too .

Has your daughter got any hobbies that will help her to relax?

For instance Art is very mindful.

Worth contacting the GP too.

I am also wondering is the depression anxiety part of any special educational needs?

For example autism can be hard to see often in girls…they can mask?

Hello Susan

Welcome to the forum

It might also be helpful to download our ‘Looking after someone’ guide from our support page and check what kind of practical help you’re entitled to:

Best wishes


I just knew you were all lovely in here. Thank you for all your replies they are very much appreciated ; )
Katie has no other health problems and has been under the gp since february this year. Thats also when she started Fluoxetine and propanalol. She used to suffer seperation issues with me from the age of 2. She had an asessment with a counsellor in march through IAPT as shes 17 it was a nightmare getting anyone to see her then covid19 took over the world and Katies not had any contact with anyone, she cany do phone calls with anyone so shes just got to wait til she can see someone face to face. My gran, my mum her sister and i have all had depression, anxiety and a bit of ocd, my eldest son (35yrs) has it all pretty bad these days but he lives in scotland.
I have no idea about benefits but was told that we should apply for PIP. We got her documents back on tuesday so just waiting to see if she’ll get that. I tried universal credit but no chance as hubby earns 29 grand a year.
Anyone know what she should be applying for? Thank you.
Take care, keep smiling. X