Hi! Newbie here and at my wits' end

Hi everyone, I have been caring for my aged father for a couple of years now with the help of carers from a care company. They come in three times a day for around 20-30 minutes to wash, change and feed him. Within the past week he has suddenly entered end of life stages. I have had issues with HomeCare in the past regarding their consistency of care and carers not seeming to know what they were doing. Things escalated in the last week, with one carer screaming at me and threatening me (she was later fired because of incidents with other clients), and now today which has been the last straw.

I have no family or friends nearby to support me. I am completely on my own. During the week I have somehow contracted the flu and can barely get out of bed. A new carer I have never met before arrived for this morning’s visit. I told her what was required but that the information was also in dad’s care package, and excused myself to go lie back down. Within minutes she was shouting for me to come and help her, as she needed to change him but that this was a “two person job” (HomeCare have never advised two carers, even in the last week). I told her I was barely well enough to stand and she said she couldn’t do this by herself. She couldn’t even lift my father’s head to change his top, and he was becoming very distressed at being handled like a sack of meat. It was distressing for me to watch and I tried my best to handle him with as much care as possible, in between bouts of throwing up from the flu. I just wanted her to get done and get out of here so that dad and I could rest again. I honestly felt like she was going to finish him off. I called HomeCare to complain but the woman didn’t seem very concerned and just said they wouldn’t send her again.

I feel like we have been totally abandoned just when we need proper professional care and help the most, and don’t know where to turn. Sorry for the rant but I am so finished right now.

The GP is the one to sort this out.
Insist that he makes a FAST TRACK application for NHS CONTINUING HEALTHCARE.
It is specially designed to help people like you and your dad. Must be provided within 48 hours.
Then ring Social Services.
They are supposed to have teams immediately available too, to stop people being admitted to hospital.
Is there a hospice near you?
If so, ring them.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I will do that immediately and have a call in to dad’s GP first thing on Monday. I tried 111 but they said because there is medically nothing wrong with him there is nothing we can do right now :frowning:

Nothing medically wrong??
Ring Social Services in that case, there is always a duty officer available.
Say you CANNOT care for him at the moment. Either more carers or emergency respite needed.

I feel so terribly for you …

I would contact his GP and the community health or district nurse team - stress that you need a solution and refuse to come off the phone until there is one. Your Dad should have a health case manager who coordinates and organises his care - find out his / her name from the community health team and call them… this is what they are for. Hospice could be an option - whether it’s in hospice for end of life or a community team at home to support. Speak to the GP about this option. You should be entitled to a sitting service whilst you’re so sick, or your Dad could be admitted to hospice for end of life care. You have to look after yourself - be firm xxx