Hi i am new

Hi there i am new here. I am a 44 year old man who is caring for my 83 year old father. He is the most difficult man i have ever met. He was diagnosed in 2013 with vascular dementia and I struggle daily with him. I have very little support and am looking for people to chat to for advice and ideas. I’m going though a lot with him and i can explain more if anyone is interested. I have no siblings or other family members to help. Just thought talking may help.

Hi Karin and welcome

There are plenty of people on here whose parents would vie for “The most difficult” title :smiley:
What’s your Dad’s particular take on it?
Please tell us more


Hi sorry perhaps i should have been more clearer. He has vascular dementia. I dont just mean i am a son complaining about a difficult father.

Didn’t think that for a second! Carers find their way here when they really need help or support.
You’ll find it an understanding and supportive forum

Damn, just lost my post - got a bad gateway message after clicking submit …

Hi Karim,

welcome to the forum. Caring for someone with dementia is tough.

Others on here have experience of caring for someone with dementia and/or supporting a parent.

Feel free to rant, ask questions and offer advice to others of what you have found works.


Hello Karim. I am in a similar position - only child and I care for my very difficult 80 year old husband. Tell us more about your difficulties and challenges with your father. I am sure many will empathise. My problem with my husband is his non compliance with the medical staff and District Nurses. We have huge issues with his moisture lesions/pressure sore as he won’t keep the dressings on, apply the creams and move around. His diet is appaling despite a great dietician and he weighs 8st 7.

None of us will judge you. We all do our best, many with very little support.

Hi Karim,

Welcome to the forum. Did you know that as people age they become increasingly self focussed. Their world has shrunk to just them and their immediate needs, and they just cannot see how much others are doing for them.

Would you like to tell us more about what you have to do for dad, and what you find most difficult?
Your name suggests that your family may have moved to the UK at some time in the past (not a criticism, my family includes people from other countries too). Is this causing extra pressures for you?

Has dad had a Needs Assessment from Social Services?
Have you had a Carers Assessment from Social Services? NOT assessing your ability to care, but what extra help Social Services can give to help you with your caring role.

Hello,you’re welcome

What are you struggling with most?
What help, if any, are you getting?

My lovely mum in law developed dementia, my father in law found it really difficult. He tried to explain and reason with her about various things, but she couldn’t understand because of the dementia.