Thanks for your reply, JohnnyBoy.
I am glad that you can take over the tenancy of Mum’s house. There is no automatic right of succession, and sometimes people, grieving over the loss of their loved ones, face the additional trauma of loosing their homes.
I noted somewhere that Mum had wished for a direct cremation. There will be less involved in arranging this but you can of course arrange for a get-together later to celebrate Mum’s life.
You toasted on St Patrick’s day to find solace. You can do the same on the day of the cremation. After that, turn to the things that did not need to meet that deadline. If you still think that you need to pursue “justice” for your mother being badly treated, then that will be the time to return to that.
You can start to look for employment. It is good that nowadays apprenticeships are not just for school leavers but are also available for older adults. Do you fancy a career as a professional carer? You have had plenty of practice, which would go in your favour, though you would need to undertake a course of formal training.
Charity shops are a good way to pass on clothing, though items must be saleable, i.e. clean and not frayed or discoloured. They can take other items too, e.g. crockery, books, compact disks, etc.
We at Carers UK continue to think of you and sending our good wishes over the coming weeks.
2 Likes
Hi JohnnyBoy welcome to the Forum. I am Kristie i am an online community host for Carers UK. It sounds like you have a l;ot on your plate at the moment. Are you getting any extra outside support? I know it might not feel the same but the Forum has a number of Carers from all walks of life who understand what your going through and are happy to support you and share their experience. There is also a telephone number you can call Carers UK on if you need their help the number is on the website. Welcome to the Forum. Kristie
2 Likes
@Kristie_2104 , unfortunately, I’ve had no outside support from anyone. I’m due to have my mother cremated this week plus I’m trying to pay off various bills and debts. It’s like everyone is leeching off me (the authorities) and berating me over circumstances that aren’t my fault. No wonder my physical and mental health is dipping. No wonder my doctor has given me tablets to stop myself going round the bend. I’m almost at the point I’ve had enough of everything. Everything feels like one step forward and a few steps back. I’ve had enough! I’ve gone beyond sad and angry. Believe me, you don’t want to know what is going on in my head right now. Thanks for your kind words. Will check for contact details when I get chance. Thanks. 
1 Like
@JohnnyBoy time to get back on that gaming machine for some good old distraction? Look after yourself.
1 Like
Are the debts yours or your mother’s?
1 Like
@HorsyDeb , I’ll do that at the weekend all been well. I’ve not made my mind up yet.
@bowlingbun , some are, not all. I’m waiting to hear from the CAB regarding this. Hopefully they can sort something out for me.
1 Like
Have you Googled “Debts when someone has died”?
Lots of useful information.
1 Like
@bowlingbun ,I’ll check it out. Thanks.
@JohnnyBoy good afternoon .i hope you are ok. You’re very busy today being very helpful smile. are you running on Duracell lol. Take care.
1 Like
@Teddybear , after today, I’ll need them. It’s Pro-Plus and Lucozade to give me energy. Also, stubbornness. I’ll definitely need a very long sleep after today. I’ve hardly rested during the last few weeks. I’ll let you know if I need the batteries.
Any minute now you are going to fall over what I call the Cliff of Tiredness. It’s OK to do almost nothing for the next month until your emotions etc settle down again. Think about going away for a few days. Not a holiday just somewhere you can be alone with your thoughts. Take a notebook and write down random thoughts. I found a Best Western last minute deal that was really cheap.
2 Likes
@bowlingbun , I’ll slow down when I do what I need to do. Got the cremation to do this afternoon. You’re right, my emotions are still raw. But for the moment, I can’t slow down. My adrenaline (and Pro-Plus and Lucozade) is driving me on. At the weekend, I’ll take stock of things. I might go abroad for a break, not decided yet. I’m not crossing any bridges yet. Also, I’ve been keeping diaries for many years. Only recently, some entries ended up been a few pages long. I think I’ve got the equivalent of a small rainforest worth of paper at home. I was looking through some old entries just recently. Probably enough to write a few novels. Mind you, I’d probably get sued if some people read what I wrote (don’t worry, it’s nothing racist, sexist or homophobic). Just gossip. Anyway, I’ll consider my options soon. I’m focused on the now. Thanks for your kind words. Yourself plus many other users are spurring me on. Thanks. 
1 Like
@JohnnyBoy i wish you well for this afternoon. May your mum RIP. Take care 

1 Like
@Teddybear , thank you. Not looking forward to later on.
1 Like
@johnnyboy nhs business service for help with nhs costs. The nhs low income scheme helpline for costs is 0300 330 1343. To order application forms HC1 that’s to apply. HC5 is to claim refund for costs paid. Have you got any proof of passed receipt for prescriptions. If you get anymore meds before this is sorted get reciepts so you can claim back.phone number for forms is 0300 123 0849
Opening times mon-Fri 8am -6pm sat 9am -3pm
Also you can get these forms from your local job centre plus office Johnny.i have checked for you. And pharmacies if you ask them. U take care.
2 Likes
@Teddybear , nice one. I’ve noted down the number. I’ll call them later. Cheers.
1 Like
@JohnnyBoy hiya Johnny I think I have missed you. I hope you are ok what have you been up to. What’s the weather like is so cold here raining sun trying to come out. All my love plants are growing I posted pic on the gardening and tips forum. All my complaints have gone in so now we wait. Let’s hope not more excuses. Feel tired. Cannot believe it’s Thursday where has the week gone . What have you been watch anything interesting. Me the usual soaps, listening to simple red but you may not like him. Have you got the broadband sorted or are you not bothering and just use the library. Have a nice day and take care.
1 Like
@Teddybear , I’ve been unwell (mentally and physically) for the last few days. I’ve mainly been bed ridden. It’s why I’ve been silent for a few days. Weather wise, a fair bit of rain (off and on). More to come over the weekend. I’ve doing my best to keep myself occupied. I had to run a couple of errands because of some bozo at the council sent a couple bills in mum’s name, very annoying. BTW, it’s dealt with. Also, Manchester Council have altered their records regarding mum’s death. TV wise, I caught up on some TV recordings, Mock the Week on TLC and Dave. Also watching Elementary on DVD. Games wise, playing a few Resident Evil games and a football game. For me, it’s a thrill to be on the pitch at Old Trafford with a Man Utd kit on (virtually). Anyway, I’m slowly on the mend. Hope you and everyone else is doing OK. 
2 Likes