Hello and welcome to the forum.
I am a carer to my 24 year old son who is very similar to @ScotsDad ‘s son. My son does not have a formal diagnosis. He has been referred for assessment, but it could be years before assessment takes place. His brother and father are neurodivergent. His father is resident in a care home, and his brother lives in supported accommodation (both have complex mental health issues). My son also has huge problems with uncontrolled anxiety and an eating disorder. He does receive a little (irregular) help from the ED team, but this is largely because I contact them when things get too dire.
I am 65 years old and work from home. However, one of my concerns is that if I become unable to look after my son, and if my son does not gain some sort of independence or support, he will be in a very difficult position.
One break through that we had recently was that my son claimed Universal Credit. He had a work capability assessment which showed he was not yet ready to look for work,. and I am now considering helping him claim for PIP.
Thank you for the tip about ADHD UK, Bron. My son does recognise his neurodivergence and any reliable source of information and support is welcome.
Communication is difficult. My son presents his opinions as facts (he has a very concrete way of perceiving the world), he also has no real filter. When we are in a shop together, I do remind him about his language and he has a terrible ‘habit’ of misinterpreting other people’s body language.
I am aware that i am rambling now. However, because I really do have to make my communication clear, try to prevent RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) and negotiate situations for my son, and to the same extent with his brother and father (who have additional problems with schizophrenia), it is really important that I have the chance to have a little life outside the home. For me, joining a local gym and a lively church has been very helpful.