Hi, I posted at the start of the year but haven’t been able to post since due to drastically changed circumstances.
I live n England and am a carer for my adult son. I’m also a carer for my aunt and my dad who live near each other in my home town back in Scotland.
In the week of lockdown my dad was sectioned due to a long-standing mental health condition, my son was told his remaining vision was hanging in the balance and my aunt was given an unsafe discharge from hospital after neurosurgery. My aunt has moderate dementia. When hospital rang me to say they were about to discharge my aunt, I came up to Scotland with my son and my husband, concerned that she wasn’t fit enough to return to her home. However it then became clear that there were active Covid cases in my aunt’s ward. and we decided to care for her in her own home as she was so frail at that point. To cut a long story short, my husband and I have been caring for my aunt since she was discharged; we cannot have carers in the house because my son in the high risk group as he is immune-suppressed. It was definitely an unsafe discharge; no follow up support, nothing except a DNR form stuffed in her toilet bag. Hospital also refused to test my aunt for the virus even though they knew my son was high risk. The doctor in the hospital advised that my son and my aunt isolate for 2 weeks; crazy, given that I help my aunt with personal care and my son also has autism. Staff who delivered the hospital bed were wearing dust masks from B&Q that they had bought themselves. The ambulance staff had no PPE, even though hospital promised they would.
My dad developed pneumonia in hospital and was moved to a medical ward where he contracted Covid-19. He’s survived but the hospital is still in lockdown; I haven’t been able to visit him and haven’t seen him since March.
My son should be seeing his ophthalmic consultant every six weeks but has been given an appointment for the end of the year. I plan to contact his consultant to discuss a plan for my son as he will need several procedures carried out to try and preserve his vision. He only has sight left in one eye so will need a lot of support during this period.
All things considered, I think we’ve coped fairly well.
My aunt’s mobility has improved and her post-operative delirium is mostly confined to night-times.
My son’s vision has stayed stable.
My father will hopefully be discharged in a few weeks.
However, when lockdown allows for it here, we need to go home to England with our son for a week to sort out urgent matters there. We plan to come back to Scotland so that my aunt can be seen at a memory clinic as she hasn’t had a formal diagnosis. She also needs support with pain from arthritis. I want to be back here too to support my dad when he’s discharged from hospital. I need a plan to be able to go home and return, and keep my son and my aunt safe in the circumstances.
I’ve contacted a small care home near where we live and they can provide respite care for my aunt providing she has a Covid-19 test beforehand and it proves negative. However we won’t be able to visit her during that week.
Is it unreasonable for me to expect her to be okay for a week if we can’t visit?
Am I putting my son at risk if my aunt has spent a week in a care home?
Would it be safer to take my aunt back to my home for that week? We have no downstairs loo there. We are also very, very tired.
Should I be asking my aunt’s GP and the psych-geriatric doctor who’s recently given us some support to refer her for respite care locally in Scotland. Infection in care homes is higher here.
I’m sorry this is such a long post!
Any thoughts about how to keep my aunt and my son as safe as possible in the circumstances so we can get home to sort out matters there?