Former carer in need of help

Hi there I’m posting for some advice as to how I can help my mother.
She has devoted her life to caring for my sick father for the last 10 years, who has sadly passed away. We have been grieving for over a month now… but I am very aware that I need to help her the best I can. My mother was my fathers full time carer and their only source of income was from DLA and carers allowance. We’ve notified of my fathers death and my mother has had no income since. It has been over a month and she has no interest in leaving the house or getting anything done. She has lost her husband of 40 years and I can’t imagine the pain she’s going through. She currently hasn’t applied for any sort of help, she is very depressed. She is 62 and not able to go back to work as she has injured her back from carrying my father. I would like her to now take care of herself. Can anyone offer any ideas for how I can help her. She has no savings and no income. I am going to help her apply for bereavement allowance, she just hasn’t had the interest in getting anything done, but I think time should help her come out a bit more.

Hi Yas. I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your father. This is a very sad time for you and your mother.
Your mum is obviously missing her husband very much, it is early days - things will get easier for you both but it will take time.
The biggest problems facing your mum right now are financies and loneliness.
Do you live with your mum?
Well done for finding out about Bereavement allowance - hopefully that should be quite straightforward. What about her husband’s pension(s)? Your mum might well be entitled to half of his pension - that is definitely worth looking into. Your mum will need help from you or other family members to do this.
Also your mum will be entitled to a cheaper water rates bill because she is on a low income and 25% off her Council tax if she now lives alone. (I’m assuming your mum owns her property.)
I’m sure there are other benefits she’s entitled to but I’ll leave that for other members of this forum as that is not something I know much about.
Be prepared that your mum may feel very lonely now. If you can - encourage her to go out with you such as shopping or for a meal etc.
Please keep in touch.
Best wishes, Rhona x

Hi Yas, welcome to the forum.

I was suddenly widowed when I was just 54. Stunned for months is the best way I can describe it.
If you and mum get on well, then apply to become her DWP Appointee, at least in the short term, so that you can take charge of claiming benefits for her. It’s a very simple procedure.

I don not understand why "their only source of income was DLA and Carers Allowance. Whey didn’t they apply for Income Support or ESA???

Do you have Power of Attorney for mum? This will take a bit longer to sort out, but needs to be done, so that you can gather all the financial information together as soon as possible.

Don’t let mum bury her head in the sand (like my mum!) but don’t let her become too reliant on you either.
Do NOT under any circumstances let mum move in with you if you live separately.

Does mum own her home? Do you live with her? Is the house suitable for mum’s future needs?

Feel free to ask any questions you like here, so many of us have helped parents after a bereavement.

Sorry for the lose of your father …

Your mother is one of the WASPI women. So another four years before her state pension age.

Mother might be entitled to a …

Your could also make contact or call citizens advice.