Flexible working advice

Hi, hopefully this is the correct section.

Bit of background: for the past 15 months I have been a part time carer for my wife who became disabled as a result of an accident in December 2023. She has mobility issues as a result of a rebuilt hip and femur and is permanantly using crutches, cannot “bend” well, is at risk of slips and falls. The injury is not healing well to the point where the bone is not growing and she will likely need a major hip replacement in the not too distant future, assuming it doesn’t fail completely before that.

In that time I have largely been working from home as have so many within my organisation. I work as part of the senior leadership team but since I started the role 3 years ago, there has been very little point in going into the office because nobody did (to the point they reduced the size of the physical office to cut costs).

New owners have come in and mandated that everyone is in the office for at least 2 full days and senior leaders have to be in 50% of their time. I have nothing against this, although the company did an analysis and the results showed that there was no evidence that being in the office would make any difference to productivity.

This has caused my wife and myself great distress. I don’t spend huge amounts of time caring for my wife. There are things throughout the day like getting the shower ready, carrying things, doing washing, mopping spillages, answering the door. Nothing major or time consuming, but essential for the safety and wellbeing of my wife and consistent throughout the day.

She is also mentally fagile, as am I after such a change in life and have both had counselling.

I put a flexible working request to my company that I would be in the office 4 hours a day 2 days a week because traveling is a 2 hour round trip. I have stated that being away for 6 hours for those 2 days poses a big risk both physically and mentally for my wife but we are trying to find a balanced compromise. We have no real alternative, carers are hard to come by in my area and it is the softer side of caring that is quite important (i.e. my wife can confide in me more than a stranger).

My company has rejected that request in the grounds that Senior Leaders must been seen and put a counter proposal of 2 full days (10 hours a day with travel) in the office or 3 days at 5 hours (7 hours 3 times a week with travel).

This counter proposal is massive and risks the life of my wife both physically and mentally. I don’t think I can accept it but I am uncertain on what I can put in my appeal.

I hope this hasn’t been too long winded and makes sense - any advice is greatly appreciated

@rhyzometumble , SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU HAVE GOT ISSUES LIKE THIS. you do have carers right which your company should agree to, there are somewhere on the the carers website or you can google it. If your company does not make allowances for you as a carer , I would suggest getting someone in like family or someone else to help look after your wife. I think a few of the admin team on hear might be able to help you more @Charlesh47 , @susieq ,@Melly1 and @Michael_CarersUK
all the best

Hi @rhyzometumble and welcome. My wife had a major life changing accident about 10 years ago, so I get a little of what you’re going through. We were in a somewhat different situation, though.

Your request seems reasonable to me (but it would!), and the real question here is how much are you willing to tell them about your situation?

There’s an attitude among some employers that staff working from home aren’t really pulling their weight, even though the study says otherwise (and most studies agree). You need to feel confident, therefore, that explaining things the way you have to us is not going to be used against you. If you have any performance reviews for the last couple of years, and they are positive, they’re ammunition in your favour.

Hit them with everything: why you’re needed, why being based at home will have no effect on your work, how good your performance has been over the last few years. Are there any notable achievements you can show?

Basically, anything that points out to them that you are an excellent part of the team that - whether in the office or not - they’d be fools to lose.

They are running the risk of Constructive Dismissal and maybe a huge payout! As a carer you have a protected characteristic! You are classed as Disabled by Association. Talk to ACAS as soon as possible. Google Coleman case.