My older partner is living with dementia. His care needs are increasing. His family are reluctant to consider residential care, but recognise I am struggling to cope. Does anybody have personal experience of sharing their home with a live in carer? Is it crazy idea?
Do the family provide a lot of care, or leave it up to you?
To my way of thinking if they won’t care for him themselves, then they have no right to be involved in any decisions. My mum went into a nursing home when she was too physically frail to stay at home. The relief I felt knowing she had round the clock care was enormous. Start investigating asap. Starting with how much it costs and what is affordable. Is he getting Attendance Allowance and exemption from Council Tax?
Hi, As all care will be self funded, there is the horror of all savings going, and possibly the house, although I don’t think the house can be sold if I still live there.
I think the family want to avoid having to consider putting him into care until it isn’t unavoidable. Live in care might be the next step. AA and council tax reduction will make minimal difference financially.
Live in care can be very expensive too.
Maybe investigate homes that offer respite beds as well as permanent care?
A regular break for you might put off the time for full time care. Works for some, not others.
Are you aware of NHS Continuing Healthcare which offers free care to those who are very disabled? Worth reading up about. Easier to get entitlement in some areas, almost impossible in others, I’m afraid.
Once your savings go below about £46,000 jointly, care should be subsidised or free.
Assessments can be done jointly or singly. Joint accounts assume half each.
That’s my “rough guide” to get the conversation started.
Carers UK have a confidential helpline, might be worth contacting them.