End of my tether

I wonder if anybody out there can help…i am full time carer for my husband who is an abuser…more mental than physical these days. The police have me on a care register and the doctors are aware of my situation. They all wonder why I just dont leave? Well I’m 63 and have worked all my married life until i retired to care full time. If I leave I’m the one who has to start again in a bedsit/flat which would take up what income I have. Besides that I’ve paid the mortgage etc for all this time. I cant start again, I have 3 house cats and a studio in the garden where I paint

My question is, if the police remove him from the home as an abuser, will I have to sell my home?

thank you

Hello Jude and welcome to the forum

That’s an awful situation for you to be in and, to be honest, I don’t have an answer for you - I suspect that no-one here will have. You say that you have paid the mortgage but I think a lot would depend on whose name the house is actually in. I think the best thing for you to do is to consult a solicitor - one versed in family and property law - who would be best placed to advise you. I believe that most solicitors these day can give you a 30 minute consultation free of charge (but don’t quote me on that !).

Often if you look in the local papers, solicitors do a free drop in legal advice maybe every Tuesday night or something, you might get 20 mins/30 mins.

But Citizens advice I think can arrange a half an hour appointment with a solicitor, well most can.

Hi Jude, really sorry to hear about your situation. It’s reassuring to hear that the police and your doctor are aware of your situation. Try getting in touch with Family Lives - they may be able to answer your question. They have a freephone helpline - 0808 800 2222. Alternatively, you can email them on askus@familylives.org.uk

Please let us know how you get on. The forum members here are really supportive and caring.

All the best

thank you have some direction…for your comments…i now have some direction… :arrow_right: \\\

You also have a virtual army of people who can offer you emotional support when the going gets tough. Keep in touch.