End of line

After struggling for so long with my son now aged 16 (Epilepsy,ASD,ADHD, & learning difficulties) his behaviour has got to a point where no-one can handle him. That includes his specialist school. He has an EHCP but this is currently being re-assessed. School have resorted to isolating him in a room by himself & playing educational games with him off curriculum as his behaviour has become a danger other pupils. He is a refuser & everything is a battle. I’m not dissatisfied with what school are doing as any support is better than none. I’m drained & ill myself and am just not coping. I feel I’ve come to the end of the line and can do no more for my son. We have a social worker & SC are aware of the situation but any respite put into place in the past has broken down also due to my sons behaviour. Therefore I’ve had no respite for 2yrs. The only option I think I now have is to put my son into voluntary care before I have a complete mental breakdown! Does anyone have experience of this, and know when parents have come to this stage how you can get social care to do something?

By writing to your local politicans. Also try involving the newspapers and media. Sell it as a human interest story for maximum impact. Write the article on a laptop and email it.
Consider exactly how social care have failed you and your son as well. Use that to your advantage.

Hi Paula, my son has severe learning difficulties, can’t read, write or do any maths, but doesn’t have severe behaviour. However, by the time he was 16, without any respite whatsoever, he had to become a boarder at his school, and then went to a residential home for a while before supported living.
My own GP told Social Services that M MUST become a boarder because of my health issues. Maybe yours can do the same for you?
Near where I live there are several residential schools run by Cambian, the fees are very high, but it does seem that this sort of placement is the only option left to you.

Have you spoken to IPSEA? I’m not sure if they can help for college placements for older children. Your son should be entitled to education up to the age of 25 I think.

Hi Paula,
as your son is entitled to an education and needs to be cared for social care and education will have to work together. How you play this depends on how supportive the professionals involved are. Is his school saying they can no longer meet his needs or are they prepared to carry on as they are? If they say they can no longer meet his needs, then another school needs to be found. This may be a residential school - which would require joint funding by social care (maybe health too) and education. However, social care usually do their best to avoid paying for this. The fact that respite care always breaks down, should however, strengthen your case.