New to the forum

Hi. I’m new to this forum. I’m having a very bad day and can’t stop crying. I have 3 teenages who are severely autistic. My oldest at the age of 19 now is in an adult provision. Sadly he went in residential at the age of 9 because I was beside myself. I begged social services for 9 months for help and got to the stage where I couldn’t cope anymore with his behaviours and was becoming dangerous. He went into what I thought would be respite and gradually ended up in residential school. He’s had many moves, bless him due to places closing and authorities not doing there jobs. He is finally happy and settled but I always hate myself for him not being at home. All 3 of my boys are non verbal. My youngest at 15 is just calming down after waiting a long time to see a psychiatrist. My middle son is 17 next week and is very hard work right now. He keeps me awake most nights by his hyperactivity or self harming. My reason for reaching out today is because I feel so alone in this. Their Dad left us over 14 years ago and has never wanted contact, ashamed of them I heard. I was up with my nearly 17 year old last night who was going from hyperactivity to self harming, this morning I overslept and they were late for school and I’ve not stopped crying. I’m almost begging camhs for the phychiatric appointment my son was due to have in September and never happened and also begging social services gor respite which there is none available. I suffer myself with mental health problems and I’ve reached the stage of exhaustion. I just feel so alone and don’t know where to put myself anymore.

Thanks for listening

Hi Lisa,
Caring for three then two boys with autism sounds tough.

It’s good to here your eldest is now happy and settled.

A lot of Natspec
Specialist colleges now take young people from 16 years onwards, this might be worth exploring for your middle son.

I hope the appointment for your middle son is helpful, let us know how things progress.


Hi Lisa

That all sounds so stressful.

I have two with additional needs. One now in supported living.

I would consider all angles…

Contact childrens services to see if they can offer a supported housing placement for young people of your sons age.

He should also be seen soon by the transitions team of your local council to move to Adult Services.

There are new supported living placemts coming up all of the time.

You have to make the council aware of how much it is affecting your mental health to get then to do something.

If there was quality respite, unpaid carers would be able to care for longer. But there isn’t.

I’ve told council numerous times this…their money saving just ends up costing them more in the end when unpaid carers have to seek full support

It’s inevitable. No one can be expected to carry the load we carry and be ok with it. Its not surprising you are exhausted.