Last week I lost my best friend, he died in hospital due to pneumonia. I am now at a loss with myself and grieving. Tomorrow I have a Universal Credit interview to renew my commitments but I don’t feel ready to go back to work. The GP has me on anti depressants and I have a consultation with the GP on Thursday. My head is all over the place at the moment. I have been heavily involved in my friends care from August 2004 until when he died last week and my world has just been turned upside down. I am crying alot as what my friend went through leading up to his death was traumatic as he suffered from delirium really badly.
I don’t know what to say at my commitments interview tomorrow as I am not sleeping, hardly eating, have no get up and go to do anything, I feel flat, down and depressed. I am missing my friend alot as he played a big role in my life for the last 17 years. I need space at the moment and I cannot even think of looking for or doing work at the moment.
Your friend had a good friend in you.
I am concerned about you facing the interview on your own.
.can you visit or call your GP to to get some sick leave to give you some time to begin to recover from your loss.
I hope the you get some space .
I was with Dad when he died, and for a while afterwards I found it really difficult thinking about him because all I could remember were those last few moments, in a sort of loop.
Writing his eulogy forced me to think about the good stuff. To get there I had to dig through years’ worth of photos: because Dad took most of the family photos there were very few of him. Turns out I’d taken most of those as a child and of course later.
But it did help to look back on those happier times. It didn’t hurt quite so much, even though there would be no new happy times with him. There’s an Irish expression that sort of covers this: “We knew the few days.” There are memories to cherish and it’s worth teasing them out gently. It does help.
I was with my husband when he died and it was very peaceful, for which I am very thankful for. Sadly had watched him deteriorate over 6 years and was a very long good-bye. At 1st all I could think about and see were the awful times. Never thought I would remember happier times. I do now. Remembered fondly. Very much missed by family. Bleak times can creep in but no longer take over my thoughts.
Nature allows people with bereavement to adjust. If you let it.
Already you have had something positive. The U C agent has acknowledged your need to time, quite rightly I might add.
Take care and one day at a time