Dads bank card

Anyone else think this is dodgy or is it just me I got a call from the manager of the care home my dads in she said he’d been asking about his money and if I had his bank card and if I did could I bring it with his PIN number to the care home why would I do that he’s got dementia he didn’t know how to use a cash point years ago when he didn’t have dementia which is why we went to the bank and got me named on his account so I could get money out when he needed it I’ve been thinking about this all night he can’t go out to get any money so why does she want me to take it there it’s been on lockdown for weeks she said she was talking to him about finances he’s got dementia he doesn’t know what money he has why isn’t she talking to me about it I just think it’s dodgy does anyone else or is it just me

It’s illegal!

Just refuse and say you will report it to the Police. Any bona-fide manager would never ask this in the first place!

By the way, do you have power of Attorney for your Father and his finances? (not just named on his account)

Normally the bank will advise you regarding this anyway if you are being named on his account and having access.

If there are funding issues the home has to approach you directly.

My husband was frantic about his bank card, wallet, car keys when he 1st went into the nursing home. I found an out of date card, some keys from years ago, and attached his bits and pieces from his key ring to it.Fortunately this satisfied him as long as they were in his sight. Eventually he forgot about them. I’m saying this, because it’s common for dementia suffered to want things like these ( women with handbags). I don’t know if your Dad is wanting the security in his mind that his money is safe. For the manager to ask for his pin number is totally wrong! Do not take the card, you will need it to buy your Dad’s toiletries, and bits and bobs, for a start. You need to tell her no way can you hand his in date card to her and even more importantly his pin number. She doesn’t have to know you have his pin number anyway! Speak to her, and ask her to explain why the request.
Have you got power of attorney?

I’ve just called the home and spoke to the deputy manager and asked why he wanted his bank card she said he wanted to buy some socks and clothes I bought him lots of new clothes when he moved in there so he doesn’t need anything she also said that no payment had been made for his time there I text his SW last night I called her this morning she never answers but apparently my dad has asked her for his bank card I don’t have POA I sent all the paperwork SS financial team asked for but I’ve not heard anything from them I’m so anxious and feel helpless I can’t go see him to reassure him that his money is safe do you know how long it takes for this to be sorted I just want to know what is going on

Does Dad have a social worker. If he does call them.

It’s up to the manager to reassure your dad his bank card is safe, and that you will sort out getting him his new items. That he has plenty for now. That’s the job of the home to pacify him.
If you phone the home, or they phone you, record the conversation, if possible,. So it’s clear what the manager, deputy manager are asking. No way should anyone ask for a pin number!
I wish I could tell you how long things take to be sorted but I can’t. Just be clear on conversations.


The manager does not have ANY right to manage his money.

Has the home given you a leaflet explaining what their fees cover (mainly the responsibility of the LA if dad has limited money) and what they do not cover. Until they give you this leaflet, a requirement of the Care Quality Commission, don’t give them anything.

I would refer you back to my earlier post, about becoming dad’s DWP Appointee. Now get on and do this asap. The you are entirely legally responsible for managing all his pensions etc.

When my mum was in a care home, they didn’t want any clients money. Every resident had a monthly “account” and all the newspapers, hairdressing etc. were charged to the account. Then as I managed mum’s money, they asked me to pay for it.

I haven’t received anything from the home or anyone a few days before the lockdown I gave the care home manager money for my dad I got a receipt for this this was for his hair cut and chiropodist since then they’ve stopped all non essential people going in so he won’t have spent any money I’ve just called adult services and told them his SW is not answering my calls or text and told them what the home had said why is it taking so long for them to sort payment to the home I’ve sent all paperwork they asked for but I’ve heard nothing from anyone I didn’t sleep last night worrying about it and I’m not well at the moment I just want his SW to talk to me

Tracey, you need to lower your expectations of Social Services I’m afraid.

They are generally VERY slow at returning calls at the best of times. The financial assessment will probably be done by a different team from the SSD finance section, and since many of the staff will not be working at all due to various reasons, accept the fact that it may be months before you hear from them. As long as dad isn’t spending more than £25 of his money, there is absolutely nothing to worry about. Please believe me, I’ve been dealing with SSD for well over 40 years, nearer 50 now!!!

Did you live with dad, or did he live with you?
Did he own, or rent the property?

Once again…don’t part with the card, and nobody can ask for the PIN, not even the bank.

If the paperwork has been done regarding your dad’s funding…don’t worry. It’s not your fault.

Care homes often panic when some paperwork or other is not in order, but the system is very slow… absolutely nothing you can
do about it.

Plenty of good advice in the above postings.

Social worker has just called me apparently my dad is capable of going to the shops going to a cash point and managing his own money when I told her the manager had asked for his card and pin she said yes give her it then carers will help him at the cash point I said he’s 90 he’s not been able to go to the shops for years and he’s not supposed to be going out she said he can go out I am shaking with rage I think she is stupid I said I’m looking into becoming his DWP appointee and she said there’s no point as he’s capable of managing his own finances

My dad lived with me he’s never owned any property and he has less than 14,000 in the bank I’ve told the SW this time after time I’ve given them all paperwork and still she says he may have to pay for his care he is not capable of looking after his money he has dementia she said it doesn’t matter he still has capacity

I can guarantee that you know your Dad better than any of these other people involved, if he wants/needs some cash, withdraw it from the bank yourself and get it to him somehow.

Do not divulge his PIN to anyone and it’s probably best to not give him his card either.

Apart from all the above, has the current Covid-19 restrictions completely by-passed the care home manager??? No-one - not least a highly vulnerable 90-year-old (with or without a care-worker) - should be leaving the relative safety of their care home to make unnecessary journeys.

Words fail me!

That’s what I said to the SW and she said he can go out with the support of a carer

Tracy, just get on an sort out the appointeeship asap.

How dad’s benefits money is managed is nothing to do with Social Services, it is a matter between DWP and you, as dad has dementia. (I can think of lots of ways to describe the SW, none of them repeatable here!!!)

Do not allow yourself to be bullied by the SW.

My best friend was a senior member of DWP staff (yes, some are actually nice!)
She told me that wherever possible they want relatives to have appointeeship because that is the best way of ensuring the money is being managed properly.

My son has learning difficulties, when he moved into residential care the manager of the home told me “we want his money to run our minibuses”. Wrong, it was my son’s money. They could charge him mileage for actual journeys incurred, which I would pay, but I wasn’t giving them anything else.

The same home managed the money of one of my son’s friends. When he had to have major heart surgery he went back to live with mum for 6 months. Mum asked for his post office book to be given to her, as she would need housekeeping etc. when he was with her. His savings book had been completely emptied!!!

I’ve heard it all now. A supposedly social worker telling you to hand over bank card and pin. Would she hand hers to anyone!?
I used to take funds to the reception at my late husband’s nursing home, for his haircuts and chiropody etc I always had a receipt for this and if I asked I would get a breakdown of what had been spent and when… I had to have this for court of protection. Nothing to do with fees.
As you can read from others, the manager and social worker are completely wrong. Advising something that is illegal.

Bowlingbun that’s appalling I can’t believe anyone would do that


I’ve had ten carees over the last 40 years, all four parents, plus other family members.

I know that sometimes I come over as very assertive, both here and to social services.
If you don’t stick up for yourself and the ones you love, they are not going to get the care and services they have a right to receive, and their money won’t be accounted for properly.

One care home was made to repay £65,000 to just four clients (one the brother of someone I knew) for making false claims!!

For health reasons, my son with LD now lives in a flat 14 miles away, he usually comes home every third weekend, but is staying at his flat for the time being, due to the virus. I stick around on the forum to help others avoid the problems I have encountered. SSD told the Ombudsman that my son’s case was “complicated” which I quickly refuted. I just want to know he is safe, happy, and healthy. Surely that’s all anyone wants for anyone they care about? Social workers are supposed to have the same goals!

Make contact with…

If bank details and a pin are given to a third party. This means a person as given their consent. Most bank with not reimburse funds. If a card has been used in this way.