Dad staying for hours on the toilet

Does anyone have any experience of a person with dementia staying on the loo for hours on end because they think they still need to “go”? Dad has a sensitive bowel which is constipated or has diarrhoea at times. He is 87 and only weighs 8 stone and is 5 foot nine. Lately he has been sitting on the loo for longer and longer and will not come off whatever we say. Then he is exhausted and goes back to bed. He is hardly eating anything. He has a care needs assessment booked for next week and we are hoping and praying that he will not be on the loo at the time that he is due to be picked up for this. If anyone has any experience Or suggestions on what to do in the situation we would be so grateful. Thanks

Hi Chrissie
Is your Dad prescribed anything like Fibrergel. There are a few versions and I may have the name slightly wrong but they are powder in sachets to ease constipation , available on prescription and possibly OTC at pharmacies.

It’s fybogel, (S has it.)

However, Chrissie I’d arrange a check up for your Dad just to be sure of what is going on.

Severe constipation can interfere with the appetite and the diarrhoea may not be diarrhoea per se, but over flow leaking around a constipation blockage.


Thanks for your suggestions. However we have had Dad physically examined by a GP recently and he is already on Lacsido powders. He had previously had internal investigations too. He actually stayed on the toilet for 4.5 hours today:(

Hi Chrissy
My late husband had vascular dementia amongst other health issues. He stayed on the toilet for 2 hours sometimes. He didn’t realise he had. Am sure he just went into a sort of trance. Do you think that he is unaware of how long he is in the toilet?

Sadly I believe it is the dementia.

My poor Mum spent more time on the loo than she did in her chair. It was awful. I would visit and she would be on the loo doing nothing at all. I would persuade her to come and chat with me and she would come in, sit down and literally get straight up and say “I need a wee”. She had no recollection of just going! It went on and on all day. No amount of cajoling, persuading, distracting or reassuring by myself and care home staff could stop her. We had the continence nurse out, had a bladder scan and all was normal.

I don’t think there is anything I can suggest to you unfortunately as it is part and parcel of this awful disease. Xx

We had an OT come round this morning who was helpful and has given a higher seat. I think sometimes Dad doesn’t realise how long he has been sitting there but did say he didn’t want to use the same toilet today as it had horrible memories. I think it is more to do with the dementia. He has a healthcare assessment next week where they will check him & run more tests and we hope they will develop a care plan for him so that we know what to do. Thanks for all your kind answers. :kissing_heart:

Thanks yes that’s the one