Hope nobody minds if I post about this.
My dad is 86 and lives alone. I see him daily, I live 20 mins away.
He has had diarrhoea for about 4 years now. It isn
t every day but when it happens it goes onto the floor as he doesnt make it to the toilet on time.
He was admitted to hospital; last year with sepsis/kidney problems and they were due to investigate his bowel but then he got covid and they cancelled it. I have just seen him today and he is adamant he doesn
t want to see a doctor. He says if he goes into hospital he wont come out. He hasn`t seen his own gp for years although I have requested this.
He is on apixaban (anti coagulant) finasteride (prostate) and bisoprolol.
He is not an easy man,think he prob has ocd and it is a perfect storm as access to gp is very poor where he lives. He does have a chiropodist come to the house to cut his toenails and a nurse to take blood samples as he is on apixaban.
Any advice welcome.
@Felicity I’m glad you posted, you shouldn’t feel like you need to hold back on sharing whatever you feel like sharing
Gosh your Dad’s been doing well on his own in his home, although reading between the lines it sounds like you are practically living with him and ensuring he can…as @Chris_22081 has termed it, some of us have experienced the poo-nami issues and cleanup, so BIG empathy for him and you!
I’m sorry to hear he had sepsis/kidney issues @Sue24’s husband also had sepsis which can be really problematic to resolve. Geez Covid can really frustrating on its own but then impacting your dad’s medical investigations must have been a worry for you…he’s sounding scared and stubborn from how you describe your Dad…my Dad passed at 79yrs of age and he was cantankerous (to say the least) and threatening all sorts of things at worst, when we had to call paramedics… So I hear you!
Perhaps the wisest thing to do right now is check on what he DOES want, do you feel able and okay to have a conversation about his care and wishes for when something serious happens? It sounds like he’s already been making his own mind up about what he wants and doesn’t want so openly asking him for his thoughts can trigger a difficult but clearer alignment for you both
Postcode lottery is awful. I’m glad that the nurse is coming for the anticoagulant
If it’s not too distressing have a read of what I wrote on a post fairly recently - I’m not suggesting that your Dad is at this stage but the links and resources could help YOU, understand what’s possible…I really hope that’s I’m not upsetting you. My Dad was adamant that he didn’t want to go to hospital which made me worry about what I could and couldn’t do IF something happened
both @Charlesh47 and @bowlingbun had some additional wise words of experience to add in those posts about local resources and process, plus very useful thoughts as always
really hope I’ve bot overwhelmed you with all that! From the daughter of one stubborn father to another I feel for you!
Hi @Felicity - I see @Victoria_1806 has been discussing poo-namis…they are difficult to handle (understatement). Bisoprolol is very possibly the culprit as it has a fairly common side effect of diarrhoea. It’s worth talking to the GP to see if a different beta blocker might be a safer bet? That said, diarrhoea can he associated with heart problems, too, so the GP at least should hear about this. While you can’t talk to the GP and get a response, you can write the GP a letter explaining your concerns, and that you know the GP can’t respond to you. What he does with the information is then up to the GP, but he can’t really ignore it if it tells him something he was unaware of.
@Charlesh47 Very sound, measured advice…gosh I realise I may’ve done a bit of overprojecting from my experience of a stubborn Dad!!
…@Felicity …and this is why the forum is so great, you have different responses, and diverse experiences to help
phew! thanks @Charlesh47
I agree and sympathise. I am married to a mega difficult 84 year old who is non medically compliant. I also had a very difficult now departed father.
I agree with talking things through with your father if you can. Re the diahorria - it may well be worth writing to the GP and getting your concerns on file - a change of medication might be an option? I totally agree with Charles as the GP has a ‘duty of care’. At least then you know you have done your best as accidents must be very distressing for your dad. Would he consider incontinence pads?
Thank you so much for all the info. I told my dad about the possible side effects of bisoprolol and he was grateful for the information. He says when he next requests a repeat prescription he will ask for his meds to be reviewed. I have said also I will email the surgery as I can advocate for him if he wants me to. He is very vulnerable and worries about being a nuisance. I can see a lot of paranoia now. He was assessed for dementia last year when he was in rehab and apparently he passed the test but I think there are some mental health issues going on too.
Very grateful to you all for your help x x
Sorry to reply late but, while your father is waiting for a review of meds, would he consider wearing pads, if he isn’t already doing so?