Carers Health

I find my 80 year old mother lovely & sweet but she has really taken her toll on me when she has been in hospital for a severe bowel infection then I ended up in there also 2 days before she did, I out then my married sister went home to her lovely family I SURE FELT JEALOUS, MUM ended up in hospital again
My other married sister can’t come as she has breast cancer & having treatment,my sister that came first may come again as mum ill again & I need surgery to have gallbladder out such a hassle
wish they would keep u in hospital longer actually apart from feeling nausea & in pain after op I pleased to have someone to look after me for a night & day
I SO MISS the times I had just to chill out & read books
My 2 neices grizzle that they bored I feel like giving them a few jobs to do
I feel like saying I will swop places I will come & live with your lovely patents with no problems & u can be me
don’t think they’d last long

Hi Winifred. Can you clarify a few things?
Where is mum living?
What support other than you does she have?
What do you have to do for mum?

Hi Winifred,
welcome to the forum.

It’s very hard caring for someone else, when you are in pain and need to recuperate yourself. Tell the hospital you have no one to look after you post op. They cannot release you home after an anaesthetic if you live alone and/or have no one to look after you.

I understand you longing for peace to read etc and I get like that when S is home 24/7 and needs a lot of input from me. My friend’s children are now becoming more independent and my friends are getting more “me” time at a time when I feel like I am getting increasingly squeezed for time.

Does your Mum need any help with personal care? If so, she might need paid carers whilst you recover from your op.

How old are your nieces? Post-op could one of them come and have a “free holiday?” Stay at yours, do a few household chores to help you out and go off out during the day - to give you a bit of peace?

All just suggestions.