Carers assessment

Feeling a bit sorry for myself… So just a few “there there”'s will do, if anyone reads this… I don’t think I have the energy to hassle the LA for more help now…

I finally managed to get my needs reassessed, after yet another formal complaint… But they’ve said they can’t provide any more than the two hours direct payments I was already getting, despite the fact that I am caring for my autistic/LD husband and two children (autistic/ADHD/LD) full time. They couldn’t think of any way to support me with respite of any kind, as neither my husband or my son is keen on meeting new people. I am desperately trying to fit in some work around my caring role but without a bit more support, it is just impossible. Pretty soon I will lose my license to practice…

Also, when they assessed my husband they decided he needed to apply for social housing separate from us because he is not coping with family life… So they’ve delegated the housing application and the running of an additional household to me… And I won’t even have the support with manual tasks that my husband provides (we live on a boat so I will have to collect my water in barrels, wood, coal, gas, etc etc - lots of heavy work).

And although each of the kids finally got two hours of direct payments each… It’s only for six months… Then what? I start a whole new round of beauraucratic hell?

So fed up.

Hello and welcome!

This is like a bad movie. Have you contacted your local paper or not? Tell your story. Sell it as a human rights article to grab attention.

I’m not surprised you re feeling as you are, juggling caring and working is hard enough without having to fight social care for support. Four hours of direct payments is appalling, they are meant to support carers to work.

I know you are exhausted and don’t want to take on social care again at the moment but your son’s school sound supportive and they may well be able to offer help and advice, certainly worth a try. You say your son doesn’t like meeting new people and that is understandable but unavoidable. The key is to introduce new people slowly and after awhile they won’t be new anymore.

Does your husband want to move out? Are social care prepared to support him if he is living elsewhere? Would he cope with the children if they spent some time at his?

Sorry, not more help but had a stressful few days myself. Am sure others will be along to advise.


Thanks. I might pick myself up and give myself a shake later. At the moment I have just had enough. It’s too much. None of us stands a chance.

Kiwi - sending a big hug. Have a good wallow. You are absolutely entitled to as that is really rubbish.

Then you put on your big-girl carer trousers on. Pull them right up and kick some social services butt. Don’t hesitate to complain if you are not getting enough support. What do you need to be able to work? Push for that as it would be a massive shame to give up your job. At the vey least let them sort out the housing application (if you really think that is the right thing?). If you don’t complain and ask for another solution. Sadly you seem to only get help if you kick up a stink. I hate doing this, but have learned that this seems to be the only way.

Also have a google of which of your local councillors are responsible for social services (both children and adults) and fire off emails to them if you have no joy with social services. .

So sorry you are in this situation. It really does suck. xxxx

Do you think if you all lived in a house where there is more space for everyone, it would be easier for everyone?

Fine … if renting , and claiming housing benefit , that dreaded bedroom tax ?