Carers assessment rejected. Where did I go wrong?

Well yesterday I had a carers assessment over the phone and to be honest, it was a complete waste of time! First I will tell you what my review consisted of and after that, I will show you what the NHS says a carers review should be about & the different is chalk & cheese!
They said we acknowledge the fact that if you stopped caring for your wife, it would cost the local council thousands of pounds to provide care. So this assessment is for you to see what we can do to support you. I said I needed extra care for my wife but they said thats not what this is about. If we award you a carers money, what would you spend it on. So I said I would put it towards a better and bigger stairlift because although ours is fairly new, its not really safe enough for my wife now, They said no, it has to be for you. Would you be able to go out and have some “me” time by going to a theatre, to a pub, out for a meal etc. No I said. I need care not money. Well it must be for you so how about a nice warm coat for the winter so you can go out for walks and keep warm? No I want help! Well what about hobbies, could you spend any money we give you on hobbies? No I have my computer and my radio I want help not money. She said but this is about what the council can do for you so your caring role does not burn you out, its not for your wife, she will have a care assessment herself and you are not helping me. If you cant tell me what you would spend the money we would give you and how it would help you to keep caring for your wife I will have to tell my supervisor you are refusing a carers assessment. Its about us giving you space to live your own life while you are caring so help me here & tell me what you would do with any money we awarded to you to make your life easier so you can carry on in the caring role. I said, I need help not cash to spend on myself. So she said, I will have to tell my supervisor you have rejected the carers assessment which is about helping you, not your wife. So at that she said I will tell my supervisor to continue with the care assessment for your wife but we obviously cant help you and she ended the call! PATHETIC and completely useless. Now here is what a carers assessment is SUPPOSED to do copied from the NHS website. Pity I did not see this before my over the phone assessment. I did not ask for this assessment, the paramedics who came into my wife said you obviously need help so with your permission we are going to contact your doctor & social services which I agreed to without actually knowing what a care or carers assessment was.

QUOTE from NHS website. “If you care for someone, you can have an assessment to see what might help make your life easier. This is called a carer’s assessment.
It might recommend things like:
someone to take over caring so you can take a break
gym membership and exercise classes to relieve stress
help with taxi fares if you don’t drive
help with gardening and housework
training how to lift safely
putting you in touch with local support groups so you have people to talk to
advice about benefits for carers
A carer’s assessment is free and anyone over 18 can ask for one.
It’s separate from the needs assessment the person you care for might have, but you can ask to have them both done at the same time.”
So as I said, a complete waste of time. I dont want money to go out and have a good time leaving my wife at home as if that was possible.! I just hope her care assessment goes better or else we are stuffed…
I note the NHS says someone to take over caring so you can take a break, help with taxi fares, help with housework. Now THAT I would have accepted if it were offered. Someone to help with housework so I can give all my energy to caring for my wife, now that I would have accepted. Help with Taxi fares would be useful too for when we have doctors or hospital appointments etc, we always use a taxi not the car. But they never offered or even mentioned that. It all seemed to be what they can do for me almost ignoring my wife! I am her only carer. We have no children and no family who can help me. I am all alone with my caring role. I worry what would happen if I should be taken into hospital again as I was this time last year when I was blue lighted to Resus at the local hospital. Then I had my cousin an absolute angel to help me but she has now sadly died leaving me as the only carer. How they expect me to go out and have some “me time” and leave my wife alone I have no idea. Thats why I kept repeating over & over again I dont want money I want care but it all seemed to be about trying to give me time to myself without ever mentioning how that would be possible. In the end my carers assessment they said I had refused it. Is that everyones experience? So where did I go wrong? Did I completely fluff the interview? Pretty much within the first minute after introduction they said I write this report but I dont make the award but at the end of the interview I will need your bank details so any payment can be made so it seems to me it was all about money from the start and since I said I dont want money I want help with care I guess they are right, maybe I did refuse it by default?

Make a formal complaint to the LA.

I had exactly the same. Had a telephone assessment to which she said I scored highest in every area and then said she was pleased to say she could award me £150 to spend on myself. What a joke. There is just no help out there.

Under £3 a week? What do they think you can do with that??