I’m at the point of not coping. Just can’t anymore. I want a way out and I’m starting to feel that people would be better off without me. I just want to escape. *
2 Likes
Hi @Janjam
Welcome back. I’m sorry you are struggling with your caring situation and the forum layout too.
If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger of harming yourself or taking your own life, you must call 999 straightaway and ask for an ambulance. We would strongly encourage you to speak with your GP about how you have been feeling. Your GP may be able to suggest some local sources of support. It’s vital that you don’t have to deal with this alone.
You may also find it helpful to contact the following organisations about the challenges you’ve been facing:
-
The Samaritans are available at any time to provide a listening ear and can be contacted by telephone on 116 123 or by email at jo@samaritans.org .
-
C.A.L.L. Mental Health Helpline - Community Advice and Listening Line (callhelpline.org.uk) 0800 132 737
-
The Hub of Hope - The UK’s leading mental health support database. It is provided by national mental health charity, Chasing the Stigma, and brings local, national, peer, community, charity, private and NHS mental health support and services together in one place for the first time. The services and support listed on the Hub of Hope are not only for when things become unbearable – a crisis point. They are also for those times when we notice we are starting to struggle, or when we need extra support as we start to emerge from a particularly difficult time.
-
SANEline is a national out-of-hours mental health helpline offering specialist emotional support, guidance and information to anyone aged over 16 affected by mental illness, including family, friends and carers. You can contact them on 0300 304 7000 between 4.30pm to 10.30pm all year round or visit their website for more information www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/helpline
2 Likes
We’ve had a few different forum designs, none of them perfect, but this is the most robust one.
Just dive in, the mods are all current or former carers who are always friendly.
Would you like to tell us a bit about your situation?
In total I’ve had to support 10 different members of our extended family. My mum and mum in law both spent their final year in nursing homes. Their needs were too high for one person to manage, so it’s OK to say you can’t cope any more.
2 Likes
There are days when I feel the same way, @Janjam. I think a lot of carers get to that point at some time. You are needed. Not by the person you care for but by everyone else. You have no idea how you influence and impact others (even people who deliver to you, the postie, people you speak with on the phone, etc.). Please don’t make a permanent decision based on the way that you feel because the way that you feel will change day-by-day. Reach out to support organisations and get some help, please. All my best!
5 Likes
On at least one occasion, someone at the end of their tether joined the forum. They had been made to feel they must care for someone else in an awful situation.
I suggested they call an ambulance and the caree was admitted to hospital. It’s OK to say “I just can’t do this any more”.
We all have a breaking point, I’ve met mine.
Feel proud of what you have done, not guilty about what you can’t.
2 Likes
@Janjam I think many if not most of us have had days when we feel at rock bottom and not able to continue. I agree with Melly- reach out to the organisations she has listed. Also try the local
‘Support for Carers’. I have a telephone befriender as cannot easily get to meetings. They have usually been carers themselves. I realise that they will be shut over Xmas but get their telephone number and make a note of when they open.
Caring is physically and emotionally draining and it tends to get worse as care needs increase. There is no shame being at the end of your tether. But please please reach out and please update us. We wont judge.
2 Likes
Hi Janjam,
I think many of us here have probably felt like that at one time or another.
Hope you can get some help.
Do you know what I do every night. I go to bed and my last thought each night is “I hope I wake up in a different reality” where I’m not my mum’s carer. In this reality my mum and dad have retired somewhere nice and I’m off enjoying an independent life. Then I wake up 7 hours later and it’s back to reality. It’s my way of coping, may not work for everyone though.
Good luck.
Regards.
Steve.
4 Likes
I’ve given up worrying about how long I actually sleep, concentrating on resting comfortably instead.
During the day I will often sit in my recliner, feet up, having a cuppa, for 10 minutes, a quick reviver.
1 Like