Breakfast at Sainsbury’s

I took my husband Mr P (wheelchair user with early onset, advanced Parkinsons) to Sainsburys for a cooked breakfast this morning. At the till the assistant acknowledges me not both of us, takes our order then hands me my croissant on a plate and says ‘you may as well take this with you now’. I briefly contemplate balancing the plate on Mr P’s head as my only option because my hands are clearly full pushing his wheelchair but instead politely reply that I’ll need to come back for it once we’ve got a table. On finishing breakfast, Mr P tells me he needs the loo but our access out of the cafe is blocked on one side by people queuing and on the other side by a thoughtlessly arranged table and chairs, which I end end dragging noisily to one side so that we can get through. Mr P changes his mind and says he can wait for the loo afterall and wants to do a food shop. I tell him I don’t think that’s a good idea but he insists, so as usual I reluctantly comply. Partway round he changes his mind again and says he definitely needs the loo now and urgently, so I abandon our partially filled shopping basket and quickly make our way to the disabled w.c - only to find a dog-eared out of order sign on the door that looks like it’s been there a good couple of weeks. I peer inside anyway on the chance that it’s not really out of order and am hit by the stench of urine. I test the flush anyway, (as Mr P is by now getting desperate) but the bowl almost overflows so is a definite no no. We head back at speed to our car, weeving in and out of slow moving customers, then it’s ramp down, winch on, winch off, ramp up, Mr P safely onboard (though he then remembers he’s left his mobile phone in the shopping basket, so I have to run back inside to the other end of the store to retrieve it). I get back to the car flustered and agitated and we head home, with Mr P barking orders as usual from the back of the car). At home, we struggle to find a parking space for a few minutes, then finally it’s ramp down, winch on, winch off, ramp up and Mr P safely disembarked but by now very cross and agitated - to the extent that his legs buckle inside our porch (which is the only space where he can’t use a wheelchair) and he ends up having a slow fall to the floor, with me desperately trying to prop him up but failing. As the space he’s fallen in is very tight, the only way around our predicament is for me to slide him into the living room by his ankles so that he can use an armchair to pull himself back up and into his wheelchair again. By now we’re both exhausted, frustrated and almost in tears. I wheel him to our wet room and help lift him onto the toilet. It’s very quiet here now this afternoon with barely a word spoken between us. I hate Parkinsons and days like this.

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@Pathfinder99

Welcome to the forum.

What a tough and frustrating morning you had.

Sainsburies really didn’t help though with the lack of accessibility and broken disabled toilet.

I hope you are able to rest awhile this afternoon.

When you are feeling less stressed I suggest you copy, paste and edit your post and use it to complain to Sainsburies about your and Mr P’s experience.

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@Pathfinder99 welcome to the forum. It is coming common place in most supermarkets that have cafes and toilets in the same building there is not enough space or area for disabled people and the building maintenance for the toilets are pretty much poor. I don’t know if it the same for a baby change area, not looked after, toilets for us non disabled person are hit or missed on a reasonable standard to be used. I would also suggest sending it to dispatched on channel 4 or the BBC or the local news paper.

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Thanks for your reply Michael. Yes that’s a good idea actually, as judging by the shabby sign it looks like the disabled toilet had been out of action for some time. You don’t tend to give these things much thought when you’re able bodied but I can now understand the daily difficulties that people with a disability face.

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Thanks Melly, that’s a good idea. Yes have been pretty down in the dumps today but trying not to show it to Mr P who seems ok in himself now thankfully. We’re still quite new to caring and being cared for, as Mr P lost mobility in August, so we’re still getting to grips with all the changes. Many thanks and all the best to you.

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@Pathfinder99….what an awful shopping experience for you. It sounds like Sainsbury’s need to revisit their customer training and accessibility. I’m sorry you’ve had such an awful day but welcome to the forum.

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Hi @Pathfinder99 and welcome to the Forum - even under such horrible circumstances.

Supermarkets need pulling up on things like this - I hope you feel able to phone the store - or better still Sainsburys National Customer Service Number to lodge a complaint. I know that even more work for you but if we dont complain time and again they ignore us.

It reminds me of many years ago when Mum and Dad were travelling North and Mum needed a loo - she had MS and used a chair part time at that point. They suddenly saw a sign for a picnic site and it had disabled loo sign. In they pull - Blue Badge (as it was then) space right next to the building to Dad jumps out RADAR key in hand to find the entrance… Walks all roun the building and finds entrance is right at the back - next to a tatty wire fence. To get there he had to try ot push her along a gravel path - VERY loose chippings so the wheels dug down at every movement. In the end they had to abandon the chair part way and he moved her forward a few feet at at time hanging onto the wall. On returning home she wrote to the local authority and got a lovely reply thanking her for her compliments about the lovely new expensive facilities but missing completely the point she made about the access path and the tight bit at the back (where there were no lights, they noticed). She sent the reply to Radio 4 You and Yours and they contacted the council who were very embarrassed and announced a tarmac path would be laid within the month and lighting would be provided soon. A bit late and a shame no one thought it through at design stage!

The big companies would hate to be embarrassed by a local paper article or better a national one. I would have no hesitation putting the boot in… Mr P may need the loo there again…

Hope things improve for you :people_hugging:

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Thanks very much for your reply Chris and for setting out your parents’ experience too. Yes I’ll definitely be contacting Sainsburys as a minimum.

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Hi Sue and thanks for your lovely message, which is much appreciated.

I have written to my local council about various things. A muddy path was vastly improved with tarmac. Kids from a play area can no longer run straight into a busy car park, and the play area is dog proof. A local store no longer keeps spare trolleys in front of a fire escape. Very often people just don’t realise the implications of their own actions. A letter might be all it takes to make things better for others?

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Earlier this year I had a problem with Sainsbury’s (nothing as bad as your experience) - after trying various ways I resorted to contacting their CEO and eventually got a resolution.

So I suggest sending an email or letter directly to Sainsbury’s CEO using your post here as a template.

Simon Roberts
Email: simon.roberts@sainsburys,co,uk
Head office address:
Sainsburys
33 Holborn
London
EC1N 2HT

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Most places are like that at counter service. They look mostly at eye level and don’t even notice someone in a wheelchair, a lot of the time. This happened with my wife on countless occasions: they look straight at me. I don’t even speak when that happens - I give them a pointed look and nod my head towards my wife. Most get the message, and my wife is treated with a little more respect. It also means they have to acknowledge that taking something with you while pushing the wheelchair is a non-starter.

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Thanks for your reply Charles and yes people can be so thoughtless and downright stupid sometimes when it comes to disabilities. Grrr thank goodness for our two little dogs who always make life nicer.

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Thanks for your reply Bowling Bun and I did go ahead and pen a complaint to Sainsburys late last night about their broken toilet and poor access in their cafe area, as per an earlier suggestion. You’re right, as if we let these kind of things slide nothing will improve. All the best.

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Thanks for this info Susieq and what a great idea. I completed an online complaint form late last night actually but if I don’t get a response I’ll do as you suggest and will contact their CEO :+1:

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In my case I got a very quick response (same day as email sent) from a young lady in his office who was extremely friendly and who sorted out my complaint within 24 hours :grinning:

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Most large companies have a “Team” working in the CEO office - often called the Executive Team - who field complaints sent direct to CEO because of the adverse publicity that can be generated by no response. THEY are the ones who will sort things out and it’s worked for me a couple of times.

There is absolutely no excuse for Accessible toilets (I hate the phrase DISABLED toilets, because who wants to use a toilet which has been disabled?) being out of order for more than a few hours. They are legally obliged to provide public toilets and they will be failing in their duty under the Disability Act if they do not ensure there is equality of access. We all know that a loo is often an essential when out shopping and they want people to spend time browsing in the store and spending money in the cafe - so… I think each store Manager should be strapped into a wheelchair when they take up their appointment - make them use it for a whole day just to see what it’s like when you can’t reach high shelves or deep into baskets. THAT is the only way the messaeg will get through properly.

Oh I forgot to mention - the public loo Mum complained about also had a four inch step to get in - they said it was because they didn’t want it to flood from the field at the back of the premises - DUH!!! Thankfully that was some years ago and shouldn’t happen these days as there are standards they all have to follow (in theory anyway)

Anyway - enough of the moans.

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@Pathfinder99 Cyber hugs from me. I am so glad you found the strength to complain to Sainsbury’s. With an aging population it is imperative that their needs are taking into account and a clean working Disabled Toilet is mandatory surely.

I am sorry your husband was wound up and sadly you probably got the ‘sharp end.’ It does seem that Carers are often ‘Verbal Punchbags’ when anything goes wrong even when we are blameless and trying to sort it.

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Thanks for your kind response Selinakylie. Things are much better today thanks and yes it’s just frustration at having such little control over ones body. Will be interesting to see what Sainsbury’s response will be.

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Very interesting points you make there Chris and yes I would love to see that kind of training made mandatory. It really is an eye opener to experience the difficulties faced by people with a disability and there’s so little training available for carers too. YouTube is a bloomin blessing, that plus some manual handling training I did through work years ago.

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