Mum no longer knows when and how to use the toilet. Does not have any urges at all for anything. I receive pads for her incontinence but cleaning her requires lots of gloves and wet wipes. These things do not seem to be available for her by prescription or from the bladder and bowel clinic and they are so expensive. How do people cope with all this? Does anyone have any tips for making this easier for me. Sometimes there is no bowel movement and sometimes it is just oozing out in a sloppy mess. She does not even know how to push. Last year she was able to go to the toilet by herself but now its like an alien thing to her. Also she used to produce huge amounts of urine last year but now only does about a third of what she did even though her eating and drinking has remained the same. She can go all day without a pee (her pad is dry) and before would pee 20 times a day. Is this normal? Sometimes her pad is wet when I get her ready for bed but if I can get her in time then all is good. Still its a lot of hours not peeing anything.
How old is she?
What is wrong with her? Does she have dementia?
When did she last have a Social Services Needs Assessment?
Does she have carers in?
She is 82 and has vascular dementia with Alzheimer’s. She had been assessed by Social Services before when she was living on her own but she now lives with me and we have just opened a new case for a new assessment to be done and await this. She doesn’t have outside carers as my husband and myself are her carers.
You don’t have to do everything for her, paid carers can come and do some of the work she creates. The more help she has, the longer she can stay at home.
Is the house disabled friendly, so she can have a shower or bath?
Do you have a tumble dryer to help with the inevitable laundry?
Is she claiming Attendance Allowance?
This is probably too late as you have no doubt resolved some of this. The occupational Therapy dept can assess of a wash dry toilet which can help with the personal care side of things. They can also assess for a level access shower, which makes cleaning up a lot easier. The money side of things would be means tested for a disabled facilities grant and a contribution allocated unless your mum is on particular benefits.