Bereavement (2)

My mum died in October, and I am co-caring for my stepdad. All the benefits they received were in her name, including council tax support. This means that now she has died, they are demanding full payment. I am tearing my haircout trying to complete the form to claim as it asks if you (stepdad)or partner has ever claimed before. If I say yes, as in mum, I have to answer questions as if she were alive. As she is gone, do I just say no?

Can I suggest that you get in touch with our Carers UK helpline, and talk to them, not just about benefits, but about where you go from here.
If dad is living alone, then the Council Tax benefit will be reduced.
How old is dad, is he disabled?
When did he last have a Social Services Needs Assessment, and you, a Carers Assessment?
You cannot just fill mum’s shoes, you are entitled to a life of your own.

HI Jackie,

the contact details for the helpline are

Our telephone helpline providing information is open from Monday to Friday between 9am and 6pm - 0808 808 7777

You can email us at > > and we will respond to your enquiries within 10 working days, although it can often be sooner.


Thank you so much. Although me and my brother have assumed caring responsibility for him, we both work full time and have not claimed any carers allowance, my mum used to get that. I do pay privately for once a day care that is fine for now, but as his dementia progresses will probably need to extend. He is early stages, has lung cancer and is registered disabled. He is 78 , and when mum died they did an assessment but over the phone and he just told them he is fine!!

I will call the number, thank you

If dad has dementia, do you or your brother have Power of Attorney?
Do you have, between you, details of all his bank accounts, pensions, savings?
Did you know that dad has been EXEMPT from Council Tax due to dementia, since the day of diagnosis?
This can be backdated! The highest known refund is £8,000!
Does dad own or rent his home?
Have over £23,000 in savings (Yes/No)

A Social Services Carers Assessment looks at the support you need in your caring role, nothing to do with Carers Allowance (I’ts a real shame the names are similar, very confusing).
Dad’s Needs Assessment would look at the support he needs.

I was widowed suddenly when I was 54.
On the widows forum we all talked about “brain fog”. My own usually good memory was so bad I had to write everything down for ages. We also agreed that the very worst point was 6 months after our partner’s death. A difficult time for all the family.