Just got a quick question here. I have an older sister - early 50’s. I believe she has some autistic traits and she is partly a con artist as she likes to make out she is much more autistic than she is.
Growing up, her Dad (also my Dad but I would rather call him a sperm donor) used to keep her cooped up at home and not let her out, possibly out of embarrassment and possibly because anything she did she got wrong.
Between Mum and I, we have had to do everything for her. She won’t cook, she won’t clean. She’s not had a bath for about 3 years.
Mum is not well and it’s all dropped on to me. I cannot cope. I have my own illnesses and struggles. The other siblings don’t care - one bullies her, the other shouts at her and the other two couldn’t care less.
If and when Mum passes, I have no idea what is going to happen. Does anyone have any autistic siblings and what happened to them when their parents passed? Do they have a home or some kind of supported living for people like this?
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Start by asking the LA for a Carers Assessment to talk things through with them.
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Sorry your going through time. I too am (until recently) a sole carer, 30+yrs. I the last couple of years, I noticed my mother starting to struggle somedays with simple things. Try to encourage her to do little things, it don’t have to be anything grand. As for the siblings, if they continue to either emotionally of physically abuse her, I suggest reporting them to the police, also your local doctor can help out on that score too. Maybe he/she could intervine on her behalf.
She does go to the GP’s but never tells them anything about the siblings who are bullying. Maybe she doesn’t understand such things or maybe she doesn’t want to.
I won’t contact the LA for a carers assessment. I look after my Mum, that is almost a full time job, I am not going to look after anyone else. I know for a fact none of the other siblings will look after her or care for her. She once went to her sisters but she just turfed her out.
I was asking in case anyone else has been in this situation and wondered what may happen.
@JohnnyBoy - it’s not about Mum, it’s about a sister. I’ve fully got the caring for Mum under control (just about). I am not going to over burden myself caring for someone else too.
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Good to hear you’ve just about got things under control. Sorry for misunderstanding the situation. If she doesn’t mention the bullying situation herself, then intervene on her behalf. It’s better to get it out there than bottling it up.
Hi ,i hope that you are doing ok.im so sorry that you are going through all this.there will be better people to advise you on here .people who know about autism ,or about siblings with needs.i am sorry i do not.if you have enough on dealing with your mum and your other siblings are behaving like this .i would suggest what other people have I would book an appointment at the doctors for your sister and you to go.when you book the appointment ask for a double time appointment.if they say why.just say important things to discuss. Then go to the doctors tell them everything. Ask them for help. They should know agency ,organisations that can help you and put you in touch with or refer to.when you go to the doctors appointment take a little notebook and pen so when they tell you things you can write them down . How old are you ,your sister and your mum . Just so we know what age of person she is. Have you told your siblings to please stop behaving like this to your/there sister ,that how would they like it if someone behaved like that to them. Say couldn’t you just show some kindness and help her.and told the bullying. Say to them that it will be reported if it’s not stopped.Does not mean you have to do if you don’t wish to . But just saying you are going to do may be enough for them to stop as they will know they will be in serious trouble. I know you have enough on with your mum and say you cannot deal with your sister aswell.could you say to your sister you know I have a lot on with mum you need to help yourself to for me to try and help you. I cannot do it all. And hopefully she may try, and the siblings will stop the bullying and think if it was them and help.and the doctors can recommend some organisations, put you in touch with some, refer. They should be able to find out all this information in your area for you.if they say they don’t know then say well could you find all this out for me please. I will book another appointment for us to come back in 2 weeks.and give him to weeks to do it.
i hope you have a nice day .sending love.