Hi again,
So I am having some issues with my youngest sister (22) she is very badly behaved and always behaves like a victim when she is asked not to do something. She barely visits us, and often makes excuses. She doesn’t even work because she claims her mental health is so bad, yet she is always clubbing meeting men even though she has a boyfriend.
Shes a very messed up adult, she was just as bad as a teen, no one really understands where it came from as I and my other sister turned out just fine. She loves male attention and will stop at nothing to get it.
Shes been to see psychologists and even they cannot understand. Even when my dad was ill she didnt once visit him or give him a telephone call. She did not even respond when he got his diagnosis, and then claimed we stopped her speaking to him. She claims that we excluded her and its a cause for her mental health.
She didnt even want to help contribute to his funeral, but still tells people she paid for it all. -She didn’t. (Mum got help due to her being on benefits, and what little inheritance there was also helped.) I also patched in for everything else.
After my dad died she stayed with us for abit. Yet she kept inviting her mates over just days after dad died. The friend broke something of my dads and we were all upset.
-She lies about who she is and makes fake names online, her excuse is that we take the mick out of her for it.
One time she even invited a male into mums house after he said “she looked pretty.” The male was demanding my mum to share the location of her keys and promised to take away her mobility scooter and fix it for her. Anyone with a brain cell knew what was going on, and I put a stop to it. Yet once again I was the abuser. She claims I stopped people helping to take all the credit.
She was only ever a hinderance and kept kicking off because I wouldn’t get mum a two bed house for that once yearly trip where she’s out most of the night anyway.
I know she has a large and I mean large sum of money in her bank account, if she meant what she said she could easily pay a years rent up front for a private house and then still have more than 75 percent of her money which will come back through housing benefit anyway. But no I’m the abuser. strong text
Now she never makes attempts to visit mum and always makes excuses. She claims its all my fault because I do not give in to her and always make a scene. Its because I don’t agree to being her personal chauffer when she does visit.
When mum got the section 21, she claimed all she did was help mum and help her get a new place. No she didn’t. She claimed she helped organise the move and lent her money- once again no she didn’t. Mum has been paying me back for the last five months because I lent it.
A few months back, we planned a day out in the car to a huge shopping centre. It is located a couple of miles away from where she lives, we decided to go in the car.
Mum was looking forward to seeing her again, however I knew different. It upsets mum when she does this and I have to deal with the fallout which usually ends up with mum having a meltdown. My sister let her down again and I got the blame, I was told I’m too hostile and I control mum.
Now mum is in a new place, she has stricter rules. There is a fair in town and my sister said she would come down with her boyfriend to visit and we would all go together. At first she was kicking off because she wanted to meet up at 5pm on Monday. Well me and the other sister are either just finishing work and at the other side of the county at this time, or still working. Not that a jobless benefits thief would know that.
I kindly asked her not to invite her mates to mums place, and if she wants to meet them she will have to do so elsehwere. She must also keep quiet. We know mum is easily led astray, and I am concerned this will affect her.
My sister is also really horrible and wants to make remarks and comments all the time for no reason then plays the victim when she’s called out. I graded a new belt in karate earlier in the week and when she found out she was laughing saying I was autistic. She also accused me of driving a n**ce car. It hurts to hear those things.
Mums crying her eyes out because she just doesn’t trust my sister and she’s scared she will get her into trouble with her behaviour. She’s also upset because she doesn’t know where she is with my sister and she keeps letting her down, however when she does come she just takes advantage.
Mum went to bed crying and because she’s not answering the phone to my sister I’m the bad one, I’ve told her not to talk to her.
I don’t see how I am being abusive. I do everything for mum.
This year I’ve lent her close to £1000 which has all been paid back now barring £50. I helped her get a new place and move, I help her with her shopping. I’ve taken her to zoos, markets, shopping centres, shows, the seaside, I’ve paid for meals, we’ve had takeaway nights. I’ve painted her flat, I’m on call to do bits of mini maintenance work I.e lightbulbs. I pay her bills on her behalf, do all the forms, fill out applications. But yeah I’m the abuser and my sister does it all without visiting her once.
Me and the other sibling make sure mum is okay and she has what she needs. I’m being lecturerd by her.
Any ideas I’m sick of being told how to care for someone, I’m not telling mum what to do. I’ve asked mum not to let her stay but told mum the reasons and she agreed with me.
Even my mums cat has hissed at her through the phone , and my mums cat likes everybody.
She is just vile.