Advice needed please

My mum is wanting to lend (give) money to a person in another country that she is quite obsessed with. She has met this person a few times, he is younger than me, she has known the family for years, and went on holiday there a couple of years where this person was absolutely the best thing in the world. She has no diagnosis of any mental health issues but I had an appt with her Dr probably over a year ago as I had concerns and have been keeping notes every time mum does something a bit strange (it’s a long list…) I’m going to call the Dr tomorrow and request a phone appt.

In the meantime Mum is wanting to set up phone banking so she can send money abroad. I’m very concerned that she’s being played. I have POA and will call the bank tomorrow to discuss but this has all blown up today and if anyone has any advice I’d be grateful to hear it please.

Hi Devonmaid,

I would be worried too. Difficult to though, if your Mum argues she ‘knows’ this person. I think contacting the bank is a good idea.

Is the POA activated or just in place for when its needed?


Hi Melly, it’s registered with the bank but she has capacity so I cannot stop. I know that she doesn’t really understand money like she once did and I’m worried that there’s nothing to stop her sending all her money to him. It’s a worry.

What a difficult situation.

I think the banks the quickest thing to do. There should be a 24 hr help line.

Action on Elder Abuse (0808 808 8141) and Age UK (0800 678 1174).

Talk to the bank, explain that mum is a vulnerable adult and they have a duty of care towards her. If they refuse to block the transaction, then they can expect a claim against them.

Thank you both, that’s really helpful. I didn’t realise that the banks would have a duty of care to that degree. Very much appreciated.

If possible, go to the bank personally rather than phone, then you just get a call centre.
If you get no joy, put your fears in writing and post it to the bank Recorded Delivery.
I have a leaflet about the duty of care somewhere, will try and find it tomorrow.

I’ve already put all the poa info, my passport and I’d in my bag ready to go there tomorrow, thank you for the tip. I did find them helpful when I set up the poa, but this might need moving faster.

As you have POA, why not open a separate savings account in mum’s name that you are sole signatory to, and then mum only has her pension going into the other account?

Can I actually take control away from her like that? I think that might be a step too far at the moment, but thank you.