A woman who's losing her mind slowly

All about caring Young adult carers
1

I’m not even sure where to start…
My partner is a soldier, he has done two tours of Afghanistan as royal engineers bomb disposal. He walked away from that unscathed…
Doing a training operation in Jordan he was in a car accident which at first seemed like a very minor accident. 3 years on he is unable to walk without the aid of 2 walking sticks, he can’t stand without pain in his left leg and lower back. He is on more tablets then I care to count a day.
He is signed off sick from the army and not been looked after by them. They are happy for him to take tablets and not give him a diagnosis as this would involve them taking responsibility for his disability…

We also have a 1 year old son who is absolutely brilliant, full of life and a right little character… And I’m 38 weeks pregnant with our second little surprise.

I guess I have come on here for a little moan at how things are for us as a couple and how long we have had to endure the army and no real health care.
He has no diagnosis but is told its nerve damage (no idea what nerve)
They have little to no interest in wanting to help him and until he is discharged from the army we are unable to take the situation into our own hands. So life is in limbo and just getting worse.

The first 12 months after his accident you’d not have thought much had happened to him other then the occasional pain, tingling and burning sensations he had in his left leg. As the 24 month mark rolled around his weight had doubled his pain had quadrupled and his mental health deteriorated.
Already a PTSD sufferer this added has esculated a lot of mental health issues.
We are now at the 36 month mark and just a 2 hour drive in the car has left him immobile, his body twitches uncontrollably and he is in so much pain that medication just doesn’t touch it.

For so many reasons I’m angry, upset, heart-broken, lonely and at my whits end.

If you got this far I thank you for taking time of your own to read my rambles. I’m not asking for comments I just wanted to release onto possible readers who might understand me :sob:

Sincerely
A woman who’s losing her mind slowly

2

Hello, sad to hear about this state of affairs. :dry:

If this is really the case and the Army, (who are his employer and responsible for his well-being as long as he is a serving member of the forces) and you feel they are not taking adequate ownership of his case, then you need to contact an external agency for help.

The first that come to mind are SSAFA and the British Legion. Start there and if that gets you nowhere approach your local M.P.

Good luck!

https://www.ssafa.org.uk
Helpline: 0800 731 4880

Helpline: 0808 802 8080 from 8am to 8pm,
7 days a week (calls are free from UK landlines and main mobile networks)

3

I just wanted to say I absolutely 100% feel your pain/anguish/loneliness. I’m in a similar situation in that my husband suffers unbearable pain and also Fibromyalgia. We have little/no help and I feel so incredibly lonely.

Everyone asks after him, how is he etc. Even he himself only ever focuses on himself and how his life has been effected. No one asks after me or our girls (1 and 3)
I’m knackered, I’m working part time as a teacher, I’m raising our girls, I’m holding down our house with no help or thanks, yet I feel guilty for feeling this way.

I have no advice unfortunately, as the reason I’m here is through a feeling of sheer helplessness but I just wanted to say I know, I know exactly how you feel and it’s horrible but you have my utmost sympathy xx

4

Just wanted to say I think a lot of us feel a bit like we’re losing our minds slowly. We suddenly get dumped into this surreal world where nothing you would expect to happen does. It’s a bit like a horror story version of Alice in Wonderland.

Probably stating the obvious but have you tried Help for Heroes?