A Sense of Isolation

New to Carers Connect
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I guess I would consider myself isolated for about five years now. I read , am reading Robinson crusoe to compare notes. Am fairly versed in the presence thing after many years associated with the Tolle stuff etc but sometimes wonder what is to become of me.yes that is the future etc

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@Hello_there do you mean after caring?

How are your breaks going?

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thanks for following up

the breaks are going with a modicum of success

trouble is that I donā€™t really associate with anyone to any degree other than in work

hope you are well

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Thatā€™s going to need some engineering then.

You need an activity during your breaks that enables you to meet others.

Even small interactions can make a difference eg going to same cafe/ library etc and exchanging a few words with the same staff or a class or club where everyone shares the same interests or couple of hours voluntary work and getting to know the other volunteers etc

Easier said than done, I know, as so much to cram into a short break.

I occasionally manage to meet up with a semi retired friend for coffee; also a working friend when she is on half term hols.

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Let me know if Mr Crusoe makes a difference? Also excellent advice from Melly1x

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Hello there, whilst Iā€™m chatty here, Iā€™m very reserved when I first meet people, and it may take quite a few meetings before they get to know the ā€œrealā€ me. Finding something that is meaningful to us and pleases us when caring takes so much time isnā€™t easy. Chris and Helena here have found a niche by involving themselves in community issues, I did the same, some years ago, when there were plans to build something completely unsuitable near my home. I met lots of people I wouldnā€™t have met otherwise.

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How do you mean by Mr Crusoe? As by chance I started reading Robinson Crusoe a few days ago :thinking:

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Sorry I was referring to the fact that you were reading that novel.I thought I would give Robinson a grander title. Sorry weird sense of humour .Humour is in short supply for most carers .

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How did you know I was reading it?

Did I mention it previously?

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Yes you did , quote .I guess I would consider myself isolated for about five years now. I read , am reading Robinson crusoe to compare notes.

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Haha

Had forgotten :open_mouth:

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With Caring there is a sense of isolation. You may think youā€™re alone but youā€™re not. Do you know if theres any Carers groups in your area? Have you tried going to the library? Or going to a further education centre to do a course? Or learn a language. Do you have any hobbies?

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I work as an ambulance driver mostly on the transplant teams.

I normally only leave the house related to these activities

Thereā€™s a cycling group. But thatā€™s only once in a blue moon

Am not in despair about the situation & have a big element of the surrender thing

But canā€™t ever envisage intimacy of any sort ever again

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14

I wouldā€™nt give up on the love front either. You might meet someone through work. Take up any invitations. And do something different like have your lunch in another cafe. Have you tried internet dating? Its not everyones cup of tea, but it cuts out the middle man.

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Notion of internet dating is repulsive to me

Last couple of relationships were also badā€¦drive the long way home etc

Donā€™t get me wrong, Iā€™m not trying to play the victim cardā€¦,just donā€™t see it happening

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I know exactly how youā€™re feeling. I had to take early retirement because of Covid and to care for my husband.
I felt isolated then, but itā€™s much worse now. Carers 4 times a day, little time to go out. I now find I really donā€™t want to socialise because I have nothing to talk about!
Feel like iā€™m losing who I am (or was).

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@Sue_2011 - I can relate to the not wanting to socialise ā€˜because I have nothing to talk about!ā€™ Then not going out leads to more feelings of isolation and less things to talk aboutā€¦ itā€™s a vicious circle.

I have 2 friends whom I only communicate with via email, text or zoom; they both have health problems yet have more of a social life than I do! Although their husbands are relatively fit and mobile, so are able to get them out and about. Itā€™s difficult being tied to the house if your husband isnā€™t able to go out.

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Try share and learn activity sessions.

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