A little overwhelmed!

Hi, a quick summary to paint the picture, my mother through sepsis almost passed away in May and now with other health issues requires 24/7 care. My Father, already a wheelchair user due to being paralysed in an accident years ago, had a third mini stroke a week after mum leaving hospital. This has left him with noticeable cognitive and mobility issues. I’ve just managed to get a mortgage to my first home and work full time. Although help through here, and various avenues have signposted help I can’t stop feeling a tad hopeless, alone and don’t know what to do for the best. I don’t have siblings and their emotional expectations have left me some days wanting to just shut down but still push on. Any words of wisdom greatly appreciated! Thanks.

Welcome to the forum.

Your role has to be care MANAGER not hands on provider, or you will become ill.
If you could answer a few questions, it will help us work out the best options to consider.

Where is mum now, at home, hospital, or residential care. Who is paying for her care?
Presumably dad is still at home?
What help is he getting from Social Services?
Does he own or rent the family home?
Does he have over £46,000 in savings. Just yes or no is fine.
Are they both now receiving Attendance Allowance?
Has dad’s GP assessed his mental capacity?
Do you have Power of Attorney for both?

Mum is at home and Dad too.
He owns his house and has savings over figure quoted.
Social/care services were cancelled unbeknown and both are stubbornly resistant to outside support or me getting installed services to help. It was a challenge to get an SOS button and key safe installed.
I’ve already covered the Attendance Allowance as Dad doesn’t receive it, Mum’s not at pension age yet.
I’ve no power of attorney.

If mum is under 65, then she is entitled to Personal Independence Payment, PIP.
As she presumably can’t go out and about on her own, this means that as well as the Care Component, she is entitled to the Mobility Component.
If she has memory issues, she is exempt from Council Tax.

NONE of these involve a “means test”.

Thanks for your guidance on this, apart from PIP I was unaware of the lesser known benefits.

Kind regards

PIP has two components, one relating to care, the other to mobility/getting around. It’s VITAL to claim this asap.
If mum qualifies before she is 65, she gets the mobility part for the rest of her life.
if she leaves claiming until after she is 65, she will only get Attendance Allowance, which is for care only, no mobility.

Hi Gerard,

Im not sure i can provide you with any words of wisdom, but i do rly sympathise with your current situation and wanted to welcome you to the forum.

Perhaps the words your looking for may be shared at Carers UK’s weekly meet ups for carers to take some time for themselves and chat to other carers. Feel free to join if you’d like to and there’s no pressure to share anything you don’t want to.