Worried about son's future

Hi all, I’m new to this forum and was seeking advice🙂
My son was diagnosed with classic autism at age 5. He is now 16. The first 6 years after diagnosis,were very hard. He was non verbal, had frequent meltdowns and totally locked in his own world. Today,with the right support in place, he has grown into a beautiful young boy, loving,innocent and vulnerable, but has the mental age of a 6/7 year old. He has limited speech and will only talk about his own interests.
I can’t let him go outside on his own,as too vulnerable and he has no real awareness of danger or the mental capacity to get adequate help if he got lost. He goes to saturday clubs and a weds youth group (pre lockdown) and does do activities without me,so is used to being with other carers.
He will be attending college in september, basic life skills ,maths English.
My question is, its breaking my heart at the thought that he will not be able to live with me ‘forever’. I won’t always be around and god forbid,if my health fails at a young age, he would be on his own. I was thinking of looking into residential care for him when hes around 25 (I will be 58 at that point),so he could get used to being away from me but I dont know where to start, how long the wait is for a correct placement or how SS adult services even do their baseline assessments on needs . I want him to have a fullfiling life and be able to cope and be happy, and I know it’s a few years away yet, but its causing me sleepless nights of fretting and worrying and thinking that noone else can care for or love him, like I do…
He is a 5ft 11 lad, a solid 12 stones, but mentally a young child and I’m unsure if that will change as he gets older .

Sorry for rambling, it’s just all so daunting

Hi Kerry

The efforts you are making are admirable, a lot of carers are struggling at the moment for all sorts of reasons, which is why we have set up some online zoom sessions which you might not be aware of. We are currently running a series of online weekly meet ups for carers to get together and chat informally. People say they’ve found it really helpful and supportive and it’s nice to be able to take a little bit of time for yourself. There’s no pressure to share any more than you’re comfortable with. Join up details are here:


We are also now running a weekly Share and Learn sessions, where we run a series of fun and relaxed online sessions where visiting speakers who share tips and skills on a range of topics - please have a look at the link and see if one grabs your attention.


Do join if you’d like to, we’ve had a lot of carers join the sessions recently and it’s a great way to meet other carers.
with best wishes

I would suggest that you investigate independent residential colleges. My son went to Fairfield Opportunity College at 19, it was the making of him, he came out as a young man, made progress I would never have thought possible!