Worried about life after caring


I started caring for my 79 year old dad full time at the end of 2019 after he came back from a long stay in hospital and respite duo to pneumonia and a collapsed lung during which he was also diagnosed with alzheimer’s. Before that I was caring for him due to his heart disease as well as his mobility being extremely poor due to a fractured spine he suffered around 10 years ago but I was able to hold down a job also.

Carers, needs and financial assessments were all done pretty sharpish at the start of 2020 though due to his needs, the privately rented 3 bedroom house (in his name), we both live at is becoming more and more unsuitable for him. He cannot use the stairs at all so he is restricted to the ground floor. A stair lift is out of the question due to the wacky shack build of the house. No room for a walk in shower downstairs so all washing is done using hand aides. The commode is in the front room as there is no other place for it. The downstairs backroom was converted into a bedroom for him but has a fridge freezer in the corner. The land lord hired a team of electricians to rewire the whole house at the start of 2020 and the result was the electrics being even more broken, The upstairs floorboards cut up and not replaced and the dodgiest plastering job I have ever seen. Fast forward a year of trying to get him to rectify the bodge job and the only response I have had was in form of a letter saying he wants to increase the rent.

Thankfully my dad is still cognitively aware to realise a dementia care home is needed at this point. It is not fair on him living like this and it is making things unreasonably harder for me to be able to care for him. He is even looking forward to one of ones I showed him which is right next door to my sisters place and a bowls club. :laughing:

That there in leads me to a couple of questions. I want to be assured when i start the ball rolling, it rolls in the direction we want it to go. :laughing:

When the financial assessment was done, it was deemed he’d get full financial support as his savings were under 23,000. The care home/bowls club/sisters neighbour costs £880 a week. Is that a feasible price for the council to consider or are there any tips on how to ask the council to consider his prefered choice?

Also when he goes into a home, i become homeless as there is no way id be able to afford rent on this place on my own. What would be the stages of applying for help? Should I place myself on the homeless register now?

Thanks for listening. :slight_smile:

Definitely place your name on the housing register asap.

Although you are privately renting, the council Housing Officer can help with the condition of the place, it has to be habitable. I’d suggest getting in touch with them asap.
Are there any suitable properties locally for both of you, so you could move somewhere better?
Do you have power of attorney?
As dad would be funded by the council in residential care, you need to ask them how much they would pay, and for a list of approved homes, making it very clear that “top ups” from you are NOT AN OPTION. Some councils tell lies on this issue, feel free to ask here if you think they are being economical with the truth.