I am David and am a carer to my wife, We both have health issues although my wife’s are more severe than my own, she has mobility issues through osteoarthritis, Sleep Apnoea, amongst others, We both work fulltime and both have been working from home for around a year now during lockdown.
Over the last few months I had been finding things very difficult and have been struggling with my mental health, I hate to say it but being cooped up with my wife 24/7 has taken it’s toll, I have had to take time off work to get my own head into a state where I can function, which I had not been. I have never really talked much about caring for my wife, trying to juggle work, housework and life in general and think the times I spent, out with the house were good for me. I no longer have that due to the lockdown restrictions.
I have joined a local Carers group and am starting to get back on the road to feeling a little like my old self, and just wanted to say Hi
Maybe both of you should have a chat about where you go from here?
You are a husband, so why not get someone else to do the jobs you don’t want to do and she can’t?
Is the house streamlined to reduce the work needed for both of you, dishwasher, tumble dryer?
Bathroom disabled friendly? Garden low maintenance?
Do you ever have fun together, go out and enjoy yourselves together?
Do either of you belong to any clubs?
When did you last have a holiday together?
Hi David & welcome
We all need a break from each other. I think what ever the circumstances we need me time. That option and balance has been taking away from so many of us during this last year.
Positively, you are now connect to a carers group. Hopefully this will help with being able to speak to others re: the challenges of the caring role. Learn how others deal with such situations etc.
I applaud you both for working full time and trying to deal with health issues. Is a difficult situation for many. You need to both talk about daily living tasks. And how you can bring in outside help.
Do either of you need to work full time.
What ages are you both?
We both want to work, although we don’t know how much longer we will be able to.
I am 53 my wife 54.
Hi there David
Welcome to our forum, many carers are finding it difficult at the moment for all sorts of reasons, during lockdown we’ve set up a couple of zoom online chat groups for carers to come together to talk and support each other. There’s no pressure to share anything, a lot of carers have just found the sessions a useful place to chat and pick up tips.
Here’s the details for our care for a cuppa, it’s on a Monday afternoon at 3pm (except next week because of the bank holiday it will be on Tuesday morning.) Here are the joining details
We also have a weekly share and learn session these are held on different dates and include sessions on dance, singing, first aid - there’s a whole range to choose from
Please come along, we would love to see you there
So the fact you both want to remain working. This brings it back to getting more help around the home. And not having to deal with daily weekly tasks. Try and get as many things done by other people.