Family is not always the caring, helpful support it should be. Sometimes friends are far better at supporting you and realize that some people in your own family are toxic and self centred and for the sake of your own sanity and peace you do need to stay away from them as much as possible, both in real life and online. Expect little or nothing from these so called family members, that way you won’t be disappointed.
Take comfort in the fact that whatever this person or persons are portraying, there ARE people around you who are aware of what is really going on (and if they haven’t already, at some point they WILL come to you and let you know that they know the truth).
Hope this helps someone. That is all I have to say on this subject.
That is very well said and completely describes my experience throughout my 30 years of being a carer. And while it is discouraging, I always remind myself that being a carer is a lonely journey. Even if there are friends (my family never!) who offer support(and there truly are a few, God bless them!) at the main points when a carer is seriously challenged, the carer is totally on their own. And for the sake of keeping my own sanity, I have to find my own way of confronting those challenges and never to forget to seek my own space or distraction for relief.
For me I know the rest of my family have their own lives to live, and they can’t always stop what they are doing to give me a breath. It IS very difficult caring for a family member all by yourself (in my case I care for my mum).
Sounds to me that they are using you as the family sacrificial lamb?!
My brothers did this to me. Visited maybe once a year then told me what more I should be doing!
I’m relectant to say that is what they are doing, but, yes, it can certainly feel very much like that. Yesterday evening a promised visit from my sister didn’t take place because her plan to take her daughter to an event didn’t take place, so it ment one less break for me.
In total I’ve supported 10 different family members at times in the last 40 years. One of my brothers was too busy to help with mum, but quick to ask for my help when he was ill! Mum was so fed up with my brothers that she changed her will, instead of equal shares I inherited half her estate! Younger brother demanded more via a solicitor, mine told him where to go!
Sorry you are alone,
It is so so hard the isolation of caring.
I have been on roll call for years and it has helped me through my most scared and lonely times,
Warmest wishes Ula
