New to Carers UK Online

Hello - new to this. My current situation is that I am primary carer to: mother with early dementia, brother with paranoid schizophernia and my partner has terminal cancer with likely under a year to live. Only one other relative who I only hear from when the police contact me. No children and no other blood family. Lots of Friends but feeling a bit hemmed in by caring for others.

No wonder you are feeling hemmed in. You have far too much on your plate. Are you getting any outside help at all? I am sure others can give far better advice but if you have a local carers group contacting them would be a start. I would also go and see my GP if I were you and at least get my concerns on file - you just cannot be expected to cope long term. A year is a long time to care for your partner and you do not need the additional caring responsibilities too.

Is there any chance you could have a few days away? Could you ask friends for help. Pay a cleaner to take some of the burden away?

That’s too much for anyone. Your partner must be your top priority.
Are mum and brother getting any outside help?
(I’ll be back later, off to a meeting in a few minutes!)

Hi Nellie

I resonate with your feeling so much. I feel totally overwhelmed with my current caring situation. I have 3 kids, 1 with schizophrenia (he is in supported accommodation, but still relies heavily on us out of hours) and 2 with a severe form of arthritis that at times affects their mobility. I am trying to hold down a full time job too, and it is absolutely exhausting, probably more so emotionally and mentally than physically. As soon as one situation calms down, another seems to kick off, and I feel like I am on a never ending merry-go-round of hospital appointments and mini-crisis. The only way I am keeping my head above the water at the moment is by paying for a private counsellor and taking the odd week off work here and there for “stress at home”.

I wholeheartedly recommend venting on here and batting about some ideas on how to survive - sometimes the old adage of a problem shared does offer some relief.

Take care