Time to say HELLO

New to Carers Connect
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Hello all,

I’ve been a member for almost 2yrs but didn’t feel able to start posting until today.

2-3 years ago my wife was diagnosed with mixed dementia, depression and general anxiety disorder. Since that day things have been a bit hectic and it hasn’t been until now that I felt like I could post.

My wife is now in a Day Centre 2 days a week, which has eased a bit of the stress for me, so I thought I may now have something to offer in the Dementia section of the forum.

I will take a look around all sections of the site as this seems to be a huge place!

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Hi Blue,
great you have decided to post - am sure you will find the threads interesting and also be of support to others.

There are some regular posters on here, you will get to know us. The rest, have a problem, seek advice and don’t visit again.

Well done for securing your wife some time in a day centre, so that you get a bit of a break.

Melly1

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Hi Blue and welcome
I see you’ve already contributed some very helpful posts. That’s how it all works, give and learn!

When I first joined the forum it was mainly for support with my young adult son, but time moves on and now my (step) Mum has dementia and I am trying to apply what I have picked up on here.
I have learned so much and had such great support. Hope it works like th a for you too

Kr
MrsA

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Thank you both for the warm welcome. :slight_smile:

Yes,I firmly believe in give and take so whilst I hope to learn here I want to help as much as I can. It’s still early days for me and my wife so as I learn I’ll pass on anything useful.

I also realise that it’s sometimes good to just have a grumble or a rant when things get tough and I’m up for listening and joining in when appropriate.

I do hope to see the regulars and become one of their number.

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Hello blue
I too joined in March 2016 because my now late husband had strokes and vascular dementia. Developed other health issues. Was in a nursing home, and hospitalised many times. He died very peacefully on the 11th May. Along my journey I learned a lot, and shared the up’s and downs as much as I needed, and wouldn’t have coped without the forum. Now I share the ups and downs of losing him after 51years. Not as much, admittedly.
Keep posting, its good for others, and yourself.

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Welcome Blue!

My Mum has dementia. It is a hard illness. Are you managing to look after yourself and get a bit of time for your own interests etc?

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Thanks for the further welcomes everyone. I feel at home already. :smiley:

As to looking after myself, I’m waiting for a promised carers assessment, although, in truth, I don’t know what that entails. I was on the verge of asking for antidepressants from my GP when the Day Centre started for my wife a couple of weeks ago. Things have improved a little with the Day Centre being there.

I am also trying to get an appointment with my wife’s clinic moved forward so that I can request a meds review to try to settle her more as sleep can be a rarity for me at times with nights being so tough.

I am trying to push on with big changes and that’s one of the reasons I felt I was finally developing some experience I could pass on to others. Up until now I just felt that I was sailing along on a wing and a prayer with nothing to offer to anyone. Nothing prepares you for dementia like experiencing it!

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Blue, everything seems worse when you are tired.

This should definitely be something you raise when discussing your Carers Assessment - when they assess what support you need to help you in your caring role. Maybe extra time at the day centre?
Try to think what you wish most you didn’t have to do, and what makes you feel most stressed, as a starting point.

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Thanks for that as it’s suggested a useful angle from which to approach my assessment when it happens.

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Wow, wouldn’t have thought of that but think they are great ideas. Thank you, much appreciated. :slight_smile: