Time for change

[Tea_1702]

Following heart failure a few weeks ago, it looks like things are giong to change after years of looking after my 91 year old mom. The focus on my health and well being of the past few weeks by absent (4 year) siblings is just bizarre, taken some getting used to.

I’m awaiting a heart scan and physio before planning about finding a smaller housing solution, claiming PIP and many other things. I wished there was a checklist somewhere (

Would anyone be able to offer any insight or personal experience about such times and possible changes?

TW

[Chris_From_The_Gulag]

Hi Tea.

Purely on the financial side , what better time to crunch some numbers through an online benefits
calculator … a financial m.o.t. to go along with your own health m.o.t. :

https://www.entitledto.co.uk/
" How much " Dosh " am I currently losing out on ? "

( Thinking of PIP ? )

A question to sharpen all readers’ minds ?

Downsizing … as an owner occupier or as a tenant … social / btl ?

[bowlingbun]

Hi Tea,

Can I ask how old you are? I’m sorry to hear about your new diagnosis. Caring has taken it’s toll. Your age will affect some benefit entitlements.

Where is mum now?

[Honey_Badger]

.

[Tea_1702]

Thanks Chris. I did check out entitlements, thank you.
Just waiting to see about my diagnosis after an echo gram on Tuesday before launching into benefits and things.

Hi Tea.

Purely on the financial side , what better time to crunch some numbers through an online benefits
calculator … a financial m.o.t. to go along with your own health m.o.t. :

https://www.entitledto.co.uk/
" How much " Dosh " am I currently losing out on ? "

( Thinking of PIP ? )

A question to sharpen all readers’ minds ?

Downsizing … as an owner occupier or as a tenant … social / btl ?

[Chris_From_The_Gulag]

Your welcome , Tea … as would a mug thereof be … two sugars !

[Tea_1702]

Thanks HB, appreciate the advice and enquiries.

Siblings have been here, but with baggage and conditions attached, leaving behind more confusion and selfish behaviour for us to decode after they’ve all gone home. I’m very aware of sibling sacrifice which has been mentioned on here before. I’m not sure I’d call on them again, instead choosing to look at sorting some more consistent care for mom and I’d get out and find my on way.

I’ve listed all the points people have raised and they form a plan for after my scan diagnosis. I might find that I’m not up to doing what I did in which case it’s care world for mom and possibly sheltered living for me, see hat happens.

TW

Hello Tea,

Sorry to hear caring is affecting your health. You are in good company as many of us (young and old alike) can emphasise with the position you are in. Its almost like your body has basically said “enough of this”.
The sibling situation while a common trend is still sad to see regardless. We sometimes refer to them as “helicopter relatives”.

If you have not already done so, this is usually the time where one would consider taking a back seat to day to day care, and either delegating altogether (to concentrate on getting well), or at least to move into a more “managerial” role, overseeing the care provided rather than administering it directly.

Some of my questions go off the assumption your mother might be living with you so apologies if thats not the case its just in order to try and give us an idea of where you need help as there are always people around that would like to help, in fact you have already encountered a couple of the more knowledgable/experienced regulars in Chris and BB

Some of the more commonly covered questions/topics ;

Are you retired/nearing retirement or still of working age?
Might be worth a moment of your time to do a self-assessment for benefit eligibility to ensure you are getting what you should be (use the link Chris has provided above)

Decision making - Do you/anybody else have power of attorney (health, finance or both) - also consider who would step into your role if you are too unwell (siblings? solicitor?) to look out for mothers interests

Living arrangements - is mother living at home/in care? do you live together, if together owned/rented, whos name on property/tenancy

Care package (if any) - self funded, social services/LA, continuing healthcare (tried applying?), joint funded etc
Following on from this one, carers assessments done? (needs assessment for mother)

Again apologies/disregard if these don’t apply, they are few general basic questions as aside from your health worsening I’m unsure of the other factors involved.

You can also contact the likes of CUK and citizens advice directly who may be helpful as you can speak to a person directly.

Best wishes and look after yourself