Think my caring role has caused PTSD

Hi, sorry for yet another post.

So someone has suggested to me that I may have PTSD, and well looking at it online, it seems to make some sense. However, the whole definition of trauma thing is not quite right. Yet they may be on to something. I know something isn’t right, and I can’t get to the bottom of it.

I wanted to sort of discuss the idea, just to make sure I am not talking complete nonsense.

I have previously applied for pip, but they declined after they said I was basically well enough to travel to work, though they did identify that I had problems with basic things. I am currently appealing that decision.

However, I think they failed to recognise my avoidance behaviour. I have mentioned it in the past, and have always known something was there, but could never pinpoint it. I always used to define it as selective agoraphobia. Yet, I don’t think any medical professionals have ever took that seriously. It is this what is making me wonder.

So as things are, my avoidance behaviours primarily relate to specific places, although high trauma isn’t present. I think it may be a series of smaller things chipping away.

The places are awfully specific, but even the thought of them can send me into abit of a panic. I suppose I can relate different memories to a number of them. However, they are all to do with mum.

I think they started when I became a carer for mum. As I said before she would not be left alone, and it came to a point where she had to come everywhere with me in the car. Every weekend had to be a day out. For me this was enough to completely hate weekends, as I knew she would kick off if I didn’t take her somewhere. Yet after a while I just could sense something wasn’t right. I began to panic in certain places very quickly, but I always felt like I had to put those panics on a back burner. Those places still make me very hyper vigilant today. I tend to avoid them as best I can. Yet they crop up time to time.

Hi Coolcar98. It’s very possible that you have PTSD. It certainly happens to a lot of carers, even if it’s not recognised. I had a look on the PTSD UK website and they have a section about it: Self-Care for carers and loved ones – PTSD UK

Hope this helps.

I really don’t think you should keep trying to work out what is or isn’t wrong with you.You know the root cause of the problems, your mother. She can’t change, you can. You are so lucky to have a good job and a Masters degree, a car, you can drive. Surely those are good foundations for a happy future, if you let it happen? You can’t change the past but you can change your future. Somehow you need to close the door on your past and start looking forward to a brighter future. Has the book I recommended, Starting Again by Sarah Litvinoff, arrived yet? Have you started reading it? This week choose ONE positive thing to concentrate on. A swim, a walk, a visit to a new place on your own. Feel what it is like to be content.

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