Hi again. Just looking for some advice.
So this week will be my final session for therapy under the NHS, and I’m not really ready for it to end.
I feel alone because of my OCD and from there I won’t have anyone to talk about my worries.
Any advice?
Is there a local group in your area that meets up? A quick search online for “ocd group” and the area you live in might well give dividends
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@Coolcar98 Is it worth discussing your fears with the Therapist? She may have suggestions about local support groups. I know when I did vol work at Relate some counsellors offered ‘catch up’ sessions where the client could go back maybe 2x a year to get support and also to discuss how the goals set were progressing. Worth opening up and asking if there is a way forward? Also would she offer a private session at a reduced rate in an emergency? But the main thing really is to try and build your own Support System. Good luck.
When I was first referred to counselling I’d bottled things up for a long time after a series of huge issues, so it took me time to start opening up. Just as things were really improving I was told I’d had my allotted number of sessions and the counsellor was leaving!!! My GP recommended private counselling which was expensive, I paid using my husband’s life insurance money. Later I had it funded by Social Services as one of my assessed needs, after a Carers Assessment. From what you have written previously, your mum is incredibly frustrating and demanding, and your OCD is probably an effect of this on you? I would suggest you had a Carers Assessment and counselling funding. Mum isn’t going to change and so you need ongoing support, not just 6 sessions!
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Thank you, I was allocated sixteen sessions. This will be the 16th this week.
I know it seems like a lot, but really I just think I will end up in the lurch again. Having the sessions has really helped me understand my OCD, I now know that it has been present for a very long time. In fact I remember things from my childhood.
I feel like I’m not ready for it to end. My life has been ripped to shreds but I’m not sure how to put them back together again.
I also find my local carers help abit useless. They just seem quick to get rid of people. When I have spoken to them before they have just said contact the GP, however I’m not sure what else the GP is supposed to do. I’m on a highdose of anxiety meds already.
I do sport and exercise. I have a healthy diet. I have a really decent sleeping pattern. There literally isn’t more I can do.
I don’t really know anyone else with OCD, my family don’t also know I have it, however my sister is the sane one and I sometimes express my worries on to her.
I don’t have the support network a lot of people have. I’ve never had grandparents, decent aunts and uncles. My cousins are all three times older than me, I don’t know the rest. I have friends and stuff, my work colleagues/bosses/friends (all three) know I have it.
You are legally entitled to ask for a Carers Assessment that looks at the support you need in your caring role. Counselling to manage mum has to be part of this. I don’t believe going over what did or didn’t happen in childhood is very relevant. Support to manage mum is needed because mum is driving you up the wall rather than letting you have a normal life now. Both my parents were only children so I had no aunts, uncles or cousins either!
Yeah ive had a carers assessment. When I spoke to them about support they just said to me that I should contact the GP. Like I say there isn’t much more the Gp can do.
Regarding to the childhood thing, I meant it seems that as I learn about OCD more and more it seems like I had it in childhood too, definitely in my teens. We have barely spoke about it, just briefly. I just realised that certain things weren’t normal; or I knew they weren’t normal it was just misdiagnosed as general anxiety.
I’ve found a support group in my area that meets once a month on an evening, it’s not too far from where I live either. I have messaged them. My only concern is I just want to be around people my own age or near enough. I now not everyone will be, I just don’t want everyone to be alien to me. The next session isn’t until the start of September.
Have you had a FORMAL Carers Assessment? Provided with a written copy afterwards outlining how frustrated with mum’s behaviour, and funding to pay for counselling? This isn’t optional, it’s a legal requirement to write one.
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Yep. I have a proper carers assessment.
Whenever I have spoken to them, they have said that it’s upto the GP. Like I say there isn’t much more the GP can do. My meds are on max, I’ve tried stuff like CBD oils and natural remedies nothing really makes an impact. Out of the many reasons I wanted to join Karate was related to the fact that I know it’s a way of strengthening the mind.
The Sensei said that he also has OCD (I disclosed it on the form). So he said it will be interesting to see how it comes out in karate. It’s nice that he gets it. I have abit of a crush on him; although that’s all it will ever be.
I got a message from the therapist today to say that the appointment has been moved back two weeks because they’ve had to take emergency leave.
I will probably go to the meeting on the 2nd. It sounds daft because I’m the type of person that can go somewhere for work, and be somewhat confident. As my old boss would say “act like you’ve done it a million times.”
Yet something about this had me worried.
My brain has been at its peak for a few days now. Today was the worst, and I could feel it progressing and progressing; yet I could not stop it. It’s the rumination, and obsessive thinking, but then it creates the feeling of needing to know an answer and not being able to cope without an answer. To then googling things and things becoming ten times worse.
I’ve ended up throwing up twice because I just cannot control it.
It’s like when people do that thing where they google a spot somewhere on their body, and somehow they conclude they’ve got three weeks to live. That’s me with everything.
People can get very impatient with me because I often need things clarifying in very straight written terms. If it’s written down I can go back to it if I need to.
The guy I like that does the Karate is also a ward councillor for the are and he asked me personally if I would attend this meeting he was doing to the town tonight. I agreed about three weeks ago.
Yet I just didn’t want to do it tonight. Not out of horribleness. My brain just needed stopping. I struggled through the meeting, luckily I was only taking notes, and recording for the article so I wasn’t doing much. I do feel bad about it. I drove home just thinking, I got home and just wrapped up straight away. It’s like grounding myself.
I do wish more people would understand what OCD is and what it does. I think people forget that because I’m ’determined’ and very ‘resilient’ that I’m somehow okay. I do not feel okay. Everyday is a battle.
I know I’m not exactly young anymore (sort of) but so much has happened to me. I do feel alone in this world, I lost my main support in the middle of a pandemic aged 24, forced to become a carer overnight. I also have to be this figure to both my siblings.
The world is getting scarier day by day, and yet I somehow have to power on through. I don’t have the answers, I barely have the money, and yet systems and whatever else just seem to be designed to push me further into the gutter.
I’m obsessed with showing kindness to the world because I don’t want the world to be as crap as I feel.
I called the carers service at 9am on the dot today, and they said they would get someone to contact me as soon as they could. Now nearly 5pm and nothing.