Struggling at home with mums attitude

Benefits, finances and funding
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Hi everyone. I don’t know if anyone will see this but I’m desperate for clarification.

I live with my mum who is disabled and therefore unable to manage by herself.

Could my partner and I move out to our own place?

I will still be doing all the caring responsibilities and the 35+ hours of looking after mum, but we’re just not living under the same roof.

Sorry it’s so long winded.

Also, when my caring responsibilities end will there be help out there to help me with managing without mum?

I’ve never had a place to call my own and I’m petrified of been homeless.

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Hi @LesleyD83 You should feel able to move out to have a life with your partner outside caring for Mum.
I presume your reference to 25+ hours means you are claiming Carer’s Allowance. There’s no requirement for you to live under the same roof as your Caree. Do you or Mum get any more help than just that which you provide? If she needs overnight care then you need to be speaking with Council Adult Social Care to see what help is available. Remember, no one can force you to be a Carer, but so often we feel pushed into it through default.

Are you in contact with your local Carer’s Support Centre? It could be worth googling them and getting in touch. They will provide you with more local information and help with Benefits Check and will know what your local Council will help with.

When it comes to a Caring role ending it can be traumatic and you’ll find there are ex-carers on this site who still give others the benefit of their experience and get support from all of us. There are other organisations for ex-carers. It may be that you are just thinking ahead, but is there a reason you are asking now? Is Mum’s situation deteriorating?
Have you registered with your own and Mum’s GP as her Carer? That can open up other help services for you and if Mum gives permission the GP will be able to talk to you about her condition.

Please feel free to ask questions as I am sure others with more direct experience will chip in with comments and advice.

You can always ask (almost) anything on here without judgement.

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HI @LesleyD83 Welcome back. As @Chris_22081 says - of course you can move out. If you think your mum will need extra care between your visits - then contact social care and arrange for her to have an updated needs assessment.

Regarding your own financial situation after she has passed away - you might find this information useful:

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@LesleyD83 …..welcome to the forum. Contact social services to request help be put in place. You are entitled to have your own place and will probably benefit from it as having a safe haven to retreat to for you and your partner whilst still supporting mum.

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