I’ve visited before but joined now as I’m struggling. I care for my Mum, and have since I was a teenager. I’m in my late 30s and my life is passing by. I’ve no life outside of home. She isn’t the easiest person to live with. My life was very restricted since I left school. I’d no social life and was controlled in other ways too.
I knew my mental health was getting worse due to my life passing by, and had been hurting myself because I couldn’t cope. I knew I needed help so I asked the GP for counselling. It really helped and haven’t hurt myself since.
Mum has ms. She’s able to get about in the house, and can make a meal and can do her own personal care. She’s been given physio to do, but does it for a while then gets fed up doing it so stops. She doesn’t want to go out anywhere, no matter how much I try to encourage her. She has no interests, and anything I’ve suggested she turns down, then complains of being bored. She never had any interests outside of the house, and was never one for friends.
Sometimes she falls but can get up again. But she stays up very late at night, and I’m scared she might fall and not be able to get up, and end up laying on the floor all night. I can’t stay up as late as she does. One night she fell asleep downstairs i woke up and heard noise, it was 2am. Then i couldn’t sleep worrying about her, and i had to go to work the next day, and my head was a mess. I try to get her to go to bed earlier but she just argues.
I was working recently but the job didn’t work out. I’m looking for another job and will be volunteering in the meantime. I’m hoping to be able to move out when I get settled in another job, but I know this won’t go down well with mum. She always said about wanting me to live with her forever. When she got divorced when I was a teenager, she said I’d be the next one to abandon her
She’s got worse this last week since my job ended. Now she lays on til noon and misses out on getting enough to eat, and then is late with taking her medication. Again nothing I do or say makes any difference.
She is depressed, and says things like “no point going to bed, nothing to get up for”. I arranged for us to visit a relative this weekend but had to cancel as mum wouldn’t get up. Mum wants to go nowhere so I end up having to stay in too. Out of guilt, how can I go out and do nice things when she’s sitting in the house.
It’s just the 2 of us. She’s divorced and I’m an only child. I’m lucky to have an amazing auntie and my dogs. Otherwise I don’t know how I’d have got this far.
Sorry it was so long and thanks for reading if you got this far