Social Services want to send dad home with care package

Hi - first post (very exciting). My dad who has dementia and a number of health issues (mobility, catheter) is currently in hospital after a fall. Social Services want to discharge to home with a care package (carers 4 times a day, daycare which he attended previously) which would be part funded by my dads savings. My mum is at the end of her tether having cared for him for years and doesn’t feel he should come home as for the 20 hours a day the carers aren’t there it will fall to her. SS say he would be fit to live on his own with the care package if she wasn’t there which I disagree with. The house is joint so SS have asked him if he wants to go home and he’s obviously said yes but I know my wife doesn’t want to care for me. Meeting with SS where my mum refused to accept the care package, SS said they would refer to safeguarding team, that has now happened and apparently mum needs to leave a key at the hospital so he can get in when they drop him off. I asked what would happen if she didn’t - we will call the police. What actual rights do they have? police won’t be interested will they. Does my mum keep refusing and what would happen?

Hi Lisa.

An unsafe hospital discharge ?

The BIBLE … by the book or … NO DISCHARGE ( Treat it as a tick list … everything ticked ??? ).

Being discharged from hospital - NHS

The local PALS team … your first point of contact.

NOBODY can be forced to care !

Given your father’s condition , was CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare even considered ???

No care plan can be put in place BEFORE a financial assessment is undertaken.

Where you involved with either ???

No NHS Reablement Care offered ?
Care after illness or hospital discharge (reablement) - NHS

Enough from me , plenty to ponder on above.

Thanks Chris - no the decision on what will be put in place seems to have been made pretty quickly - a couple of quick chats with my dad and they have apparently established he has capacity and the 4 care visits a day. I wonder if they have held off doing the financial assessment as my mum is saying no. They are acting as if this has never happened to them before and won’t/can’t tell me what the process is if my mum continues to say no - other than the police involvement which my police inspector husband says is rubbish as the police are expected to do what?

I’ll have a read.

Your welcome.

( Parents are notorious for saying they do not help … especially the male ones … pride ! )

An additional source for help … AGE UK :

Now it’s time to be incredibly “difficult”. Have they given dad a formal mental capacity assessment? Documented? If he has dementia then he cannot, by definition, make a proper decision. What “home” is he thinking about anyhow?
Have they done a formal “Carers Assessment” for mum? Written?
Has dad been given an advocate?
Has mum? Clearly her voice isn’t being listened to, so she has a right to an advocate under the Care Act.

Im afraid I don’t have much to add, apart from to say that the hospital and SS have far more experience than they are letting on. Just a way to apply some pressure for your mum to change her mind, I suspect.

Why only a couple of chats? Have they conducted a proper mental capacity evaluation with him or not? Politely suggest they do one pronto.

This is a example of a MC assessment form that could be used

You should definitely complain to the council. Can you contact them via email or not? For clarification purposes, dementia would definitely count as a loss of mental capacity. Any good social worker would know that. Ask for another assessment to be done.

How many hours are offered in the care package?

Thanks all for your responses. I’m wondering about a lack of anything written down. I definitely want to see the details of the care package and also when will the financial assessment be done - that’s another thing, my dad will have to make a contribution whether a home or care as he has some savings (and my mum has no objection to this) but how would he even pay that contribution - he can’t operate a bank account? I know that’s the least of our worries but it makes the “your dad could live on his own even if your mum wasn’t there” argument a very weak one. How will they find out what savings he has unless my mum comes along with his premium bonds certificate. Very bizarre.

I forgot to mention that the 2nd conversation with my dad where the more senior social worker spoke to him was done by phone which just seems a bit off.

I recommend politely asking for a mental capacity assessment again. Can you ask for details of the care package to be sent to you via email or not?

With regard to dad’s finances, be REALLY difficult.
If no one has Power of Attorney, then mum has no right to tell SSD or the hospital about what she knows.
After all, they keep rattling on about Client Confidentiality etc. etc., so now is the time to play them at their own game!
If they arrange the care and transfer of dad, then THEY are liable for all the costs until a proper contract is established. Until then, the home should be paid by Social Services or the hospital, NOT DAD.

Politely ask for a financial assessment. If they won’t cover the fees of the care home, that is their issue. Work out what you can afford and so on. Use a notebook to keep track during the meeting. It is weird they want to do that. Speak up and ask questions as well. Is he eligible for the NHS CHC package or not? It is not means tested and is for people who need a high level of care constantly. Look into that option. Was the phone call unacceptably short?

Request a review of the care package. Have a list of concerns to talk about during the meeting.

This article has more information on financial assessments and your legal rights What to say when Social Services insist on a financial assessment

If his support needs have changed, ask for a new needs assessment.


Has a review been done yet or not?


Was in the exact same situation 2 years ago. You have to be really strong. Dig your heals in and say he is not coming home.

If your Mum is at the end of her tether get her to her GP and say she is on the brink of exhaustion and breakdown through caring and can’t go on any longer. Lay it on thick. if she were in a job she would be signed off sick. Tell them this and see if you can enlist their help.

Then tell the hospital it is a safe guarding issue if they send Dad home to be looked after by unwell Mum.

If possible move your Mum in with you for a while or get her to stay with a friend. If you can’t do this lie and tell them she is away and has taken keys with her. Do not give them key, the police really won’t care they are just bullying you and her. Tell hospital she is too unwell to be there at the moment and has had to go away for her health. Then strongly disagree with the plan for your Dad being alone when carers are there. Get your Mum to write a detailed list of why he wouldn’t 'be safe (wandering, leaving gas on, waking in the night etc, etc). Be very detailed and very specific. Again say it is a safe guarding issue for him to be left and you will be holding the responsible if harm comes to him.

Push for the mental capacity test. My Dad was eventually declared not to have capacity and a deprivation of liberty order was applied for as he was unable to understand why he couldn’t come home.

It is a horrible and stressful thing to do. Dad ended up in hospital for 8 months, which wasn’t great, but his needs were too complex to find standard care for him (demonstrating why he shouldn’t have been sent home to Mum who was eventually diagnosed with dementia which I am sure had much to do with the strain of caring for Dad for 12 years). The carers needs are so overlooked in these circumstances.

Best of luck.

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