I just browsed on here as I’m in the process of thinking of the right care for my elderly father as he is in a care home for assessments after being in hospital. My dad used to care for my sister but isn’t able to on his own now due to having an illness which hospitalised him and is now in a care home having assessments. I am currently looking after my sister and thinking of looking after her. I have been looking after and helping my dad for the last year by visiting him and staying with.him, and having them both at my house in a different council area to him.
My son was brain damaged at birth, can’t read, write, or do any maths, but has an excellent memory for other things, and can do some things better than me, with my degree! He is now 47, living in a privately rented flat with carer support. He went to boarding school when he was 16, at the insistence of my GP. After 16 years without a child free day, I was exhausted. After school he then went to a residential farm college, then to a lovely residential home. Sadly, that was then sold and the service went down hill rapidly. He moved to his current flat 15 years ago, which he keeps amazingly tidy. Staff support him evenings and weekends and he goes to a garden related day service 4 days a week.
At 50 I was, I thought, fit as a flea. At 52 I was diagnosed with cancer, major surgery followed, and I was told never to care for anyone ever again. My husband died suddenly a year later of a massive heart attack, 3 months later I was nearly killed in a car accident, virtually unable to walk for years.
I would urge you to find somewhere for your sister to live while you are still young enough and well enough to support her through the change. Somewhere she can make friends with others of her own age. My son comes home regularly, phones me every night. Our family own a number of steam engines which live in their own shed in the garden, my son comes home to help look after them and take them to shows. He also loves cooking with me, coming home to make hot cross buns, mincemeat, mince pies, Christmas Cake etc. so in no way is he abandoned.
At 73, after many health issues, my energy levels have dropped hugely in the last few years.